roses are red, violets are blue, i have Alzheimer's, CHEESE ON TOAST

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A black guy, mexican, and asian walk into a bar. They leave soon after because they heard the "one about them"

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roses are black violets are black your going to die with hate and sorrow

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A dwarf walks under a bar.

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A Muslim terrorist walks onto a bus, with the mindset to blow him and the other 27 people up*. Before he steps onto the bus, he realizes the error in his ways and decides to not follow through. He goes to the airport instead.

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Why are Germans good at soccer The Holocaust.

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What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out the chamber.

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An attractive naked woman walks into a bar. Everyone is surprised, and all the straight men, gay women and bi-sexual men and women in the bar are sexually aroused.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Jews are human beings. Pizza is a type of food.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Q: What happened when Timmy divided by zero? A: He got a syntax error.

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How do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the Brake

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How much does a polar bear weigh? About 1,150 pounds.

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Amy Winehouse has been sober for 2 weeks now.

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What do yo call SQUIRAL!!!!

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A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

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So, this one time, I was at the grocery store. Man, that was nuts.

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If Pythagoras was racist, he would have made hypotenuses.

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What do you call a jew in a room full of gold? I highly improbable scenario in which the circumstances of how this "man" seemingly got into a gold room are unexplained.

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What did the man who was punched in the throat say to his friend?

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

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how do you french braid? ask a french dude to braid your hair DUHH

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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