I'm not racist. Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

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What's brown, hairy and goes up and down? A kiwifruit in an elevator.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I can't rhyme Refrigerator

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Bitch

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what is sticky and brown?a stick

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What do you call a clock that neither ticks nor tocks? A broken clock

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What's the difference between a turtle and a bird? They both fly. Except the turtle.

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Friends are a lot like trees I just thought you should know.

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In an all out brawl between the casts of Gilligan's Island, Hogan's Heroes and the Brady Bunch, who would be the winner? The Viewer

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What happened when the turtle rolled over on his back? It proceeded to die because it couldnt find a way to roll over. An African tribe then decided to make the recently decised turtle into a delicious soup that lasted him and his family three days.

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A: Knock Knock B: Who's There? Person B came down with a serious case of amnesia that day and can't remember who anyone is.

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What did taxi driver say to the passenger? Where to, sir?

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My claustrophobia was cured by imagining that all small spaces were naked.

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Why was Allen late for work? He was mauled by a bear. Allen is dead.

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a girl had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend over a text message. she got very sad and became suicidal

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-Your momma is so ugly, she wasnt a model. -Am I supposed to be caring?

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What did the homeless guy say to the not-homeless guy? I'm homeless.

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I'm not gay (phrase) - A phrase commonly used by straight men.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead.

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Whats orange and sounds like a parrot? a carrot

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George: I see you got a haircut. Jim: No, I got them all cut.

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How did the mexican cross the border? He went through border patroll, and then later became a legal citizen of North America

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Q: Why does my arm itch? A: I got bit on the arm by a mosquito

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Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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