Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

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knock knock. who's there? doctor. doctor who? doctor: you have cancer.

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What do you call a baked bean falling from 10,000 feet? A baked bean

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An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar... However, it's really busy, so they leave and go to a different bar.

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Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He was in a terrible car crash in which the fuel tank exploded.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? Nothing, they were the ones convicted of raping that white girl.

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So this guy was making a sandwich...

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A black man, a hispanic man, and an asian man all walk into a biker bar. The bartender asks them if they know that this is a biker bar. All three say yes and tell the bartender that they are in the same motorcycle club. The bartender serves them a beer.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Whats worse than a Worm in Your Apple? Being raped

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Justin Beiber's Talent.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? i know how to make a pizza

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Why was the man like a chimp? Because they are 96% genetically identical.

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why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom T H E R E ' R E A L L D E A D!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, there is no reason for a chicken to need to cross a road.

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What did Hellen Keller say when she drove up to the stop sign? Nothing, she doesn't drive.

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Two muffins are in the oven. They don't say anything because muffins can't talk. The end.

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what do blondes and rocks have in common? they are both material and have extension.

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Jesus Christ dude. Wait, aren't you Jewish?

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Question: How did the chicken get to the other side of the road? Answer: Too find his joint.

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Knock Knock! whos there? Me! I kill you!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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A brunette, a blond and a red-head decide to go swimming in a lake. To prepare, they go shopping together to get some new bikinis. When they get to the shop they are pleased to find that the bikinis are on sale and they get them 50% off. They drive with their new swimwear to the lake and get changed in the changing room. When they get out they notice that it is quite cold. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice that the lake is dirty. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice the lake is actually a spill of oil. They decide to go swimming anyway. They remember that none of them can swim. They decide to go swimming anyway. They jump in. They drown.

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Why did Doris need a hip replacement Because she fell down the stairs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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