Q: what is blue and floats in a pool? A: a baby Q: what is purple and at the bottom of the pool? A: the baby 5 minutes later

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A blonde woman, a brunette woman and a redhaired woman walk into a bar. They can be considered fiscally responsible because it was two for one Ladie's Night.

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A black man walks into a... nevermind, this joke is dumb.

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Three men went into a bar; one was blind, another deaf and the third was mute. The blind guy said "Did you SEE that?" The deaf guy said "WHAT?" And the mute said "...."

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ur an fagit

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road Because the light said don't walk

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You know what's funny about AIDS? Nothing.

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Why did the world end? Because of Jim Layhey's whispering winds of shit.

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Doctor! doctor! I feel like a bridge! That's the least of your problems you've got cancer by ndc

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A man walks in to a bar. He then walks in to a different bar, and later that evening he goes into a different third bar. That man is a bar critique.

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Why are bacon and eggs good. Because Toasters are silver

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There was a man from Dundee. who's limericks always ended on line three. I don't know why.

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So this guy comes into a bar... Jizz eveywhere.

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Badabing.

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A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

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What ever happened to the bartender that asked, "Why the long face?" He was punched hard on the face for asking a stupid cliche!

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Tom and Ralph are In a verbal scuffle. Tom: your adopted ralf! Ralph: yes! Now I have lesser chance of high blood pressure!

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Why did the blond get fired from the M&M factory? Repeated absences and stealing.

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Whats the difference between a hoover and a harley? one is a vacuum, and the other is a motorcycle.

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What is the crunchiest part of a Vegetable? It depends if by Vegetable you mean the food or the disabled human incapable of carrying out simple, daily tasks, in which case this joke would be referring to canibalism.

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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What did the orphan get for christmas? Glaucoma.

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sexual intercourse.

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why did the dog chase the cat? because the cat chased the dog first.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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