What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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What do you call a Black Priest? His title would probably be Reverend, and then his last name after it.

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Q Why was the boy sad A he wasnt sad he was dead and therefore had no emotional feelings

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When did the Chinese guy go to the dentist? At the correct time he had been allotted.

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Whats the difference between a monkey and another monkey? I dont know google it!

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Why did my phone crack? I dropped it.

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What do you call a Black guy picking cottnon? A cottonpicker

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Once a man asked a lady working at the supermarket, Can I see your avocados? She kindly walked him over to the rack where they were being held.

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What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

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A baby seal walks into a club. :|

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A man walks into a bar. Because he's had a rough day, he asks the barender for a drink. Then another... Then another... (continued) The man walks out of the bar and goes to his car. He starts to drive back to his house. He wobbly makes turns and closes his eyes every 5 seconds or so. He also talks to his boss on his phone for the majority of the ride. Surprisingly enough, he makes it home safely and doesn't harm anyone else despite the large amount he had to drink. He stumbles into his apartment and goes up to his room. He slumps down onto his bed on his back very heavily, causing the room to shake a bit. He opens his eyes, only to find his glass shandelier falling from directly above his face. His body was found by his girlfriend the next morning. I guess there's no real moral to the story then... Maybe it's: You can drink and drive, but don't put a shandelier directly above your bed... I guess? Wow. What are the odds?

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How do you take money from a Mexican? You don't because they have none.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

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I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

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An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

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What's better than having an iPad? I don't know, I lost both my hands.

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ask me if im a house are you a house? no

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roses are green violets are red im shooting heroine into my head

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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How many Mexicans does it take to cross the border? Don't answer, just think and laugh.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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What was Helen Keller's favorite activity? fingering herself...

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What's the cure to Ebola? Suicide

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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