What did the black boy wear for Halloween? A costume.

There are two eggs sitting in a carton in the refrigerator. The first egg says, "Sure is cold in here, eh?" The second egg replies, "Holy crap! A talking egg!"

The WNBA

Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because it never told anyone. Chickens can't talk.

What happend to the chicken that crossed the road? He got hit by a truck.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a giant scorpion.

What is the difference between a duck? One leg is both the same.

-Ask me if I'm a tree. +Are you a tree? -Yes. -Ask me if I'm an orange. +Are you an orange? -No, I'm a tree, were you listening me?

you need 2 pple for this. Ask me if im a tree? Are you a tree? no

Whats the difference between and ? Blue custard

Life is like a box of chocolates, some are brown, and some are white.

What's the same between grapes and squirrels? They're both purple, except for the squirrel.

what's worse than stubbing your toe on cement being a Jew during the holcaust

Name an American born white man in the NBA. Thats right, you cant

Why couldn't the pirate go to the movies? He had scheduling conflicts

A: u wanna die? B: does anyone really wanna die, i mean logistically, un-less u are suicidal, why would you wanna die? A: I do wanna die. B: ur a freak and you should consider getting help person A never got help, on his way to getting help at a certified physician he got hit by a bus, his body can be found at the intersection of church ave. and flatbush. And i would say rest in piece but cars drive over him daily, and thats not to peaceful

whats worse than forgetting your lunch at home? getting diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.

What is the most dangerous day of the week to leave the house? Garbage day. Moral: Or rather GAAAAAAAAAARBAAAAAGE DAAAAAAAAAAAAY! *BANG BANG BANG* >:D

A woman who owns a parrot leaves her home, forgetting that a plumber is scheduled to come fix her sink. A few minutes after she leaves, the plumber arrives and knocks on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waits for a minute and, seeing that nobody has come to the door, knocks again. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, a little more loudly, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink!" The plumber waits for a minute and bangs hard on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screams, "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIINK!!!" Just then, the plumber clutches his chest and falls dead to the ground. When the woman returns home, she sees the dead man in front of her door. She opens her door to go to her phone and asks the parrot, "who is it?" The parrot replies, "WHO IS IT?"

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

What do you call a person that smells like shite and chases uglier girls than him? .. . . . . . . .. . . . . . Smelly McD the smelly cunt

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I peek in your window, Yes, I'm watching you

Q: Why was the child sad? A: because a doctor was taking bullet fragments out of his chest.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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