Knock Knock Whose there? Its John

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whats pink, brown, and smells like a banana. monkey vomit?

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Why did Stephen Hawking ask for pizza? Because he was hungry.

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Roey Jegen

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OK, Billy went to his friend Fred in the tree. And then went inside to get a snack. Then Fred fell out of the Tree and.....landed on a comfy mattress.

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Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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Why did the fat man fall off the swing? Because he weighed 855 pounds and it broke.

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A priest a rabbi and an iman are stuck in the desert. After walking for days without rescue or civilisation in sight, and rapidly running out of food and water, they decide to each pray to their respective gods for rescue, and in doing so solve the ultimate question of which religion is the true religion. They all die.

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When you nut and slice her fukcing dumb head off fucking dumb BITCH DIES

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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How do you make an electrician cry? You cut off his friend's penis.

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What is the difference between a dog being hit by a car and an Arab being hit by a car? There are skidmarks before the dog

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names.

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Why do priest touch children? They are sexually deprived and frustrated because their religion forbids them from having a normal sexual relationship with the opposite sex.

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Aww Eliza, thanks for being around in spirit, dont leave yet, I am kinda having breathing problems, and Alice says my something levels are dropping because I need solid food, please dont leave, I cant tell time even with a watch, but would you mind waiting a bit? Ill eat fast, somehow.

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Why couldn't the baby boy read the book? He had eye cancer and was therefore blind.

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Hey Jake can I use your lawnmower? Why Michael, so you can run over my cat like you did last night

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Murder me once, shame on you.

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roses are red violets are blue you're an orphan, had to break the news...sorry little fella.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No one, because a hollowed out pineapple carcass would not be able to last longer than a month in that high concentration of sodium.

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Obama

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What do you call a joke with no punchline?

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Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

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I hate blackniggers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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