Tell my wife I died doing what I love... Not her

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If life hands you lemons you're probably a hippy because you know someone named 'life'

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Q. Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A. being physically disabled due to a preventable accident, thus leaving you incapable of doing activities that are easily completed by an able-bodied person

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What does one call black men pushing a car up a hill? Black Car. What does one call white men pushing a car up a hill? White Car. What does one call Mexicans pushing a car up a hill? Grand Theft Auto

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Your mom walked into a bar and got kicked out cause there's no dogs allowed.

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jesus can walk on water but chuck norris can swim through land

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Determined.

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Kid 1 Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken. Kid 2 Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys. Kid 1 You know what? I think you're right Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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How many republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Typically only one, though more may be required under extreme conditions.

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Bob and Joe are talking about how their grandfathers died in the Hulacaust. Bob says "Mine died in the gas chambers" Joe says "Mine got drunk and fell off the guard tower.

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Why do everytime I go to toilet for number 2. I look into the toilet to see if this one's nicer than the last one.

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What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

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What do you call a guy sleeping with little boys? Michael Jackson

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yo mama so old she was a waiter at the last supper.

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why did sally drown cause she was black

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Why do all black people look the same? They don't you're just racist.

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Why did the woman buy peanut butter and a puppy? Her husband just died. She was trying to fill the void in her soul with junk food and companionship.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

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So this guy walks into a bar and– Nevermind it's really not that funny.

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Q; Whats the hardest part about nailing a dead baby to a wall? A; my dick while doing it.

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Roses are Blue Violets are Red I have Alsheimers... Cheese on Toast

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how many Ethiopians can you fit in a bathtub? all of them.

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What was the last thing the boy heard before he was hit by the school bus? Nothing. He was deaf.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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