Roses are red violets are blue my d*** is bigger than you.

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Ben Colbert is gay

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What made parashoot paint's so uncool? MC Hammer.

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The economy.

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A Christian and an Atheist are in a bar, the Christian turns to the Atheist and says "If you don't believe in god you will go to hell." The Atheist replies "Your Mom doesn't believe in god." And then turns around to order another drink.

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You wanna hear a touching story? Once a pon a time you died. The end. (all anti jokes posted by me will be adressed with -blarg)

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A young blonde walks into a bar and orders a shot of tequila. After about a few minutes she spots this very ugly man with one leg. The man just so happens to sit right next to her and orders a drink. The man reeks of cockroaches and he looks like a homeless man that hasn't bathed in months. They never talk and the blonde goes home.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The driver was a loaf of bread

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Q: Why is winter the best season? A: It eliminates the homeless.

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It's easy to take part, just type your text below! no

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(This is a joke made up by the young son of a friend of mine many years ago. It is still one of my favorite jokes.) Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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what happens when a white guy goes to harlem he gets robbed by 5 to 10 black men

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if life give you lemons. put them in the fridge they should be there...

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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OMG I NEED FRESH WATER

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What do you call a mexican with a driveable lawnmower? Rather wealthy.. He must have a secure job to pay for a home with a lawn, and a lawnmower.

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What looks like donuts but stinks of shit. Sean Big Macs socks

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Why do girls think they deserve the very best? Because if an ugly girl in twilight can find a hunky vampire and ripped werewolf why can't they. And let's not forget those crappy Disney princess movies.

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Why was poor justin killed His mother kicked him into a pool of blood-thirsty aligators.

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the retard's house *knock knock* who's there? the chicken

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What do you call a woman when you're inside her? Mom.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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Why did little Susie fall off the cliff? I pushed her.

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What did the depressed man get for his birthday? a rope

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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