Q: what's red, green and goes over 100 miles per hour? A: a frog in a blender

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Several occupants leave as they realise the danger of the large animal.

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Q. How did the man with no legs get to places? A. He didn't, he died at his house alone

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Sorry not thinking here, of course I will arrive sooner, give me 20 minutes or so (got to scout the area, you never know) As for coding, there is no hidden meaning so yeah... That is probably some "Neronist" coding format I never knew of I am using so well. Cant drive like this, so I will use a cab and wait for you at the back seat or something, I will let the Taxi cab honk the numbers of code here so you can come out knowing its safe. I sincerely thought you where at the home, according to our coordinates you are... Dont tell me that bastard built some basement over there, wow! I really miss him now, if nothing else because I would have liked a wine cellar made in less than... Sorry, ill be there asap, 20 minutes or less, nah, believe me, "fancy" is the least of things I want, and I wont be changing my mind anytime soon. See ya. I am sincerely surprised you even remember me, then again I look a lot like your crush. Abel (in case you where wondering, this is not my name either, but you get the picture by now)

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What does Spiderman do everyday? Aunt May

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What did Hellen Keller name her dog? Her parents named it Spot; Hellen Keller isn't able to speak due to her handicapped muteness.

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READ IT ALL> whats the difference between a jew and a pizza...the jew is a human with living features and organs that keep his body hydrated while also keeping his blood pumped throughout him, otherwise the pizza is a circular, doe based cake like food topped with a fine layer of cheese and in some cases topped of with other substances such as pineapple or ham :)

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Yo mama so fat she has more chins than the Chinese phone book. A.V.T was here Fred.

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Roses are red, But ravens are black, please go to China, and never come back!

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What do you call a blonde with big breasts? A woman. Some call her "mom".

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Justin Beiber

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Why did the boy cry? Because he had a frog stapled to his face. Why did the boy cry harder? Because it queefed in the boys mouth.

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Q:what do you call a black man flying a plane? A: a pilot

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Women's rights.

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Q: What's the longest word in the dictionary? A: According to the Oxford English Dictionary (second edition), it is "Pseudopseudohypoparathyroidism."

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What's the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of dead babies? One is easier to unload with a pitchfork.

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What does Tourettes Syndrome have in common with short term memory loss? I DON'T FREAKING REMEMBER.

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What did the girl say to the mute? "Why are you so quiet?" How did the mute respond? He flipped her off.

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Q: What's long and gray and kills people? A: A gas pipe.

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A man is at a party. He gets hungry so he waits in the foodline and then he gets some food. Then he has to go to the bathroom so he waits in the bathroomline and goes to the bathroom. Then he is thirsty so he goes to get some punch and realizes that there is no punchline.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why the f*** do so many people ask this question?

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your mother is so fat that her doctor advised her to stick to a strict diet and exercise routine to help her lose weight

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Knock, Knock Who's there ? So So who? No, So Lee

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a dinosaur with a large clown hat is walking down the street when he is confronted by an obese monkey human with red hair. I set this up for a good pun, but the one i have is potatoes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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