A horse walked into a bar and ordered a drink. It was nothing out of the ordinary because the Everett-Wheeler interpretation of quantum mechanics is correct and he lived in a parallel universe in which the roles of humans and horses are reversed.

The knocking didn’t cease. It grew harder as the voice grew louder. “Let me in! Let me in! LET ME IN!” The knocking grew so fierce it could have shattered the door. Tears leaked from her eyes. “What do I do,” she thought “should I open the door?” The knocking was more than she could bear. “I know you’re in there, Kat.” it said. Her stomach twisted, her breath caught in her throat, and tears now streamed down her face. “Go away!” she shouted finally. “Let me in!” it screamed in response. “Leave me alone!” she cried. The voice and the knocking echoed in her head, making her more nauseous than before. Reaching for the lock hesitantly, she sucked up her tears and held her breath, unlocking the door and throwing it open. Nothing was there. The tree stood in the yard unmoving, no wind. Nothing. She shut the door, shaking in fear. With the click of the lock, the room grew cold. Goose-bumps covered her skin. “Thank you for letting me in.” a voice whispered behind her.

Do the roar!

Why did the chicken cross the road? He never did because he's in KFC

Why was the woman sad on her 21st birthday? Because she was born on September 11,1980

How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

Why did polly fall of her swing ??? She had no arms

Why did the chicken cross the road? cause' he was annoyed with all the stereotypcial idiots who insist he crosses the road for comical value

Person 1: *sneeze Person 2: bless you Person 1: I'm jewish. They never spoke again.

suck my dick.

What's for dinner tonight? Your mom's vagina.

what do you when a black guy gives you a muffin. you eat it because he was your waiter.

Why Do Black Men Like Koolaid Because its red

What did the little boy with cancer do? He died.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

There are ten million million million million million million million million million million million sub-atomic particles in the universe that we can observe. Your mamma took the ugly ones and put them into one nerd...

a ghost walks into a bar and sais BOO! The bartender then yelded AAAAHHH! and died of a hart attack.

Why am I telling you this joke? Because the person who did it before me mentioned that he enterted this, agreed to the Terms of Service and clicked submit - but missed out that he also typed in the capcha. Mine said: never quit.

What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

What stops a fully black english man from marrying a fully chinese women, the language barrier of course!

What did the apple tree say to the farmer? Well! since trees nor apples have the ability to talk I would say the apple tree said nothing. And if the farmer thinks it did say something he should visit the doctors to check his hearing. The End.

what long green and bumpy? a pickle

What happpens when a Jew walks into a wall with a boner? He breaks his nose

fallow me on twitter #ieatveloceraptorsfordinner

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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