How may Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

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If Chuck Norris has $5 and you have $5 then all together you have $10. It was announced that the obverse portrait of Alexander Hamiliton would be replaced by the portrait of an undecided woman, starting in the year 2020. If you wait long enough, you can exchange the $10 for the new $10 bill.

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What happened to the dog that ate to much? It became obese.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? One has a slightly darker skin complexion

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what do you get when you have an albino black man, a lesbian middle eastern siamese twin of the female gender, a polygamist indian and a jewish native american? A very cultured and diversified posse of hostages. Take your pick.

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Why did Larry fall off his bike? He was hit in the head with a brick...

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Whats brown and sticky? A massive shit.

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An Jewish man worked at a bank, and ate chicken noodles for lunch and then stabbed and man playing the saxophone.

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Why'd the asian man cross the road? I dont know, who cares? Just leave the guy alone

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Q. Whats worse than 9 babies in 1 suitcase? A. 1 baby in 9 suitcases.

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers have no feelings.

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how do you start a stamped in mexico roll a nickle down the street sad thing is you just lost a nickle

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Women's rights.

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What happened after four homosexual clowns all squeezed into a little toy car simultaneously? Children and parents alike were amazed by this feat, and considered their $5 entrance fee very well spent.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot turned into a loaf of bread.

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who's a knob,a liar, and systematically ruining a once well-run family football club by employing crooks , buying footballers who are well-passed there sell-out date and getting the team relegated ? steve kean not laughing ? nor are 23 ,000 others

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So your driving your brick car and the steering wheel falls off. So how many pancakes does it take to fill your dog house? 12 because hamsters don't wear shoes

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How do you stop R Kelly from peeing on little girls? Kill all little girls.

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Q. How do you kill 5000 flies? A. Slap a afraican in the face.

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Why did the beachball get sad after it was deflated? Beachballs don't have emotions.

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If John had eight apples and he eats three. Calculate the mass of the sun.

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im the real danny hamilton you stupid asshole

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So does Blake

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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