A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Balls

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why did the asian kid do well on his math test because he studied

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What's worse than hitting your funny bone? Nothing

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Where was the Decoration Of Independence Signed? At the bottom.

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What did one wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls are inanimate objects and thus incapable of conversing with one another.

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poop

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Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

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What time is it? 12:03 AM

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A family walks into a talent agency. Talen agent says "Okay, what's your act called?" Dad replies "The Aristocrats!"

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How do you get a clown out of a tree? Shoot him in the head.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has an abusive farmer and needs to get away before it gets any worse.

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What do you call a fat cat? Nothing if you are a good person

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What do you call a white duck? A quacker

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Why was the little girl crying? She got slapped with a porcupine.

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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how do you open a can of coke with no tab? throw a washing machine at it

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What do you call a black person who puts out fires? a firefighter

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Did the Chicken cross the road? No the road moved the chicken across.

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Cheese

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Nig gers Jews Bean ers and fa ggots and everyones grandma that died recently, F u c k you there all burning in Hell.

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Q:What is a black guy running with an iPod in his hand? A: A person who enjoys to listen to music while running.

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A bear walks into a bar. Four people were taken to the hospital and there was one fatality.

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What did the aliens say when they first landed on planet Earth? We've come back for Anthony Davis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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