What do you call a lazy good-for-nothing who can't succed at anything, steals your money, and who is unskilled in every way? A women

thumb_up thumb_down +14

In Soviet Russia..... the exact same thing happens, stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

it's weird how Jesus came out of the cave on the same day as Easter

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Ask me if I'm a kangaroo Are you a Kangaroo? No….

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call six million jews? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did one cat say to the other cat? Meow. What did one dog say to the other dog? Meow. Why was the man sad? He had a retarded dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was the curious black guy a good Lumberjack? He was always axin'.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

im in stttttttttiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttttccccccccccccchhhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssss

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What do you call an Asian guy doing homework? A student

thumb_up thumb_down

Ching Chong Bing Bong.. Yoyao? Dat U?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What falls down, but never gets back up? A dead person.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +2

69

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man walks up to you and asks you:"What's funnier than a dead baby?" and then smiles, you then proceed to frown and tell him he needs to seek help. The next day you see his face on your TV

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the janitor commit suicide? He was sick of people's shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

My mom caught me masturbating.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Do you speak alien? Hola.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A socialist, a Muslim, and an illegal immigrant walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for you Mr.President

thumb_up thumb_down -12

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats better than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork. Whats better than catching a baby with a pitchfork? Eating it afterwords.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Can I ask you a question? You just did

thumb_up thumb_down +18

So Mel Gibson walks into a bar, and then everyone left.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops