roses are red, violets are blue, I got pneumonia so now I am too

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses are red, Violets are green, get in my bed, if you know what I mean.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

1st person: What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? 2nd person: I don't know 1st person: A Jew is a follower of the zionist faith and a pizza is a popular food invented in Italy and comes with your choice of several delicious toppings. 2nd person: But not all Jews follow zionism 1st person: Well some places restrict your choice of toppings. Whats your point?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What a wonderful life!!! *gunshot*

thumb_up thumb_down -1

a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How many Terry Pratchetts does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a black guy in a prison? A warden. You racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red violets are blue I am in 301 Club and so are you.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why did the chicken cross the rode? so it can get the seed that is between the two yellow lines, and then he walked back without getting hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

So a black guy walks into a bar, respectively pays his tab and walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Your Mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did Goldilocks say to the three bears? She asked them how bears make porridge without opposable thumbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

woman's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Heeeheeeerrrrrrrrrrr

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the cat cross the road? He thought he would make it to the other side, but instead was hit by a mini van and soon after died in the bushes from internal bleeding.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Once upon a time, A lonely man was living in the woods. He died of exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, and bacterial infection. The end. Once upon a time, Another lonely man was living in the woods. He built a house, made a well, made a farm, got married, had kids, and had a wonderful life. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Ruebin is Red, Curtis is too. i think i need a sweaty poo

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What has legs but may never walk? A Vietam Vet

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what do you call a fish with no gills? I dont know what youd call that creature...but its no fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

One time a man cut off Chuck Norris while driving, and Chuck Norris kindly excused the man's lack of consideration for his fellow drivers.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red, Violet are violet, not blue, dumbass.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

newt gingrich

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats a cat? A cat!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops