dude... what would you do if i punched you in the face? i would pee on you

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Did you hear about the circus fire? Yes, apparently there were no casualties but all their props and equipment were destroyed, which will set the company back financially, even with the insurance.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you do with a wombat? Allow it to freely express instinctive behaviour in its natural habitat.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Misner is a twat.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why could the penguin not fly? It was shot in the wing.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Light turned green, indicating that it was a safe and appropriate time to cross

thumb_up thumb_down

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the chicken cross the road? Just kidding, it got hit by a car on the way to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what in the world is smarter than the world's smartest man? Nothing he is the smartest man.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What did the aids patient do after he was diagnosed? He had sex with many more people and gave them aids as well.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

so i was on anti joke and i read a joke, it made me laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the dog say to the mouse? Cat

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the Billy flunk the test? His parents were killed in a refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did Jimmy throw butter out the window? Because he had down syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is yellow and can shot? A Banon.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is green and has 4 wheels?... Grass, I lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you knock up a Catholic girl? Put your penis into her vagina without wearing a condom.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down -19

So heres a scenario. You and your twin brother are Siamese twins. You are straight and your brother is gay. Your bother has a friend come over. You only have one butt....

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's dirtier than an ice cream cone rolled in dirt? The dirt it was rolled in.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Debating on internet is like competing in the paralympics, even if you win you're still retarded

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops