Q:Whats worse than you touching yourself at night A: The holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Do you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

There are two muffins in an oven neither can say anything at the moment, however, because both are in excruciating pain.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why did the panda and puppy get into a fight? how should i know, you tell me.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Young Billy was arrested today for saying he was going to be a terrorist for Halloween.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red Violets are blue I have AIDS and now you do too!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what's the difference between a duck? You can't wash a window with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

how do you know your sister is on her period? you dads dick taste like blood.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A bald man walks out a bar crying Prostate cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a woman with two black eyes? Irish sunglasses

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did Sandra fall of the swing? She had no arms... Knock Knock Who is there? Not Sandra

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is the difference between a rose and a grape? They are both purple.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

My parents have an open marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock knock Fuck off!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats worse than your house on fire? an orphanage catching on fire. Whats wosre than an orphanage catching on fire? A bunny farm catching on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Two guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would've noticed and avoided it.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what do JFK, plato, and a dead penguin have in common? theyre all dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

An English man, a German man and a Canadian man stood on the edge of a cliff. The English and German both jump off. What happens then? The Canadian says "they were serious?!" and runs away to fake his death and live the rest of his life as Frank Brown.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What are the two biggest jokes in College Football? Auburn and Florida! Roll Tide!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why does Spongebob go to work? Because he's ready.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? An elephant I lied!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's harder than a rock? The dead baby in my freezer.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q:what's black and white and red all over? A:a panda bear that's been shot in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why does Ron Weasley have friends? He does't. He's a ginger.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops