Hey can you turn Tmartn upI can't hear him

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Cleveland winning something

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Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding half a worm. Wats worse then biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an eggplant and finding half a worm, as eggplants are usually more expensive so you will have wasted more money and would probably not be willing to eat the rest. And eggplants taste like shit.

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Roses are red Zombies are hungry and blue My brain is half-eaten And what about you?

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What did mr smith say when a student asked for math help? ok

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why did the black man attend the AA meeting? his wife told him the only way she would stay with him is if he would attend these meetings, he was an alcoholic and is dying of liver failure.

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Q. Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? A. Because he had alzheimer's and couldn't remember how to ride a bike.

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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My period is red, Your sauce is white, now pull down your pants and let me do my workout.

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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Roses are red my name is Dave this poem makes no sense, micorwave

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Black people are black, And you're a douche.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having your entire family killed in a car accident

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what do you call a half dead black person crawling across your lawn..............................stop laughing and reload

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Did you hear about the Dislexic Devil worshipers? They sold their soul to Santa.

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what is the different between a prostitute and your wife one is on contract and the other pay as you go

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What did the retard say to the other retard.. hey timmy how was work?

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Wanna hear a joke? (Yeah, sure) So do I, got any?

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Whats funnier than Dane Cook. The Holocaust.

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When is the best time to eat? When you feel like it.

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What do you call someone too young to drink? A minor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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