How many babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know it depends on how hard you throw them.

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What did the African do when he found out he was constipated? He ate a laxative and went to the toilet

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Snake: YES muahaha Eve eat the fruit from the three of wisdom muahahaha! Why do you not share with Adam? Muahahaha! Snake: Why is nothing happening? Then the sky opened and a heavenly voice spoke: "Well as long as none eats fruit from the three of KNOWLEDGE... Hmm, I better get rid of it altogether..." Snake: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer was sexually abusive.

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How did Hellen Keller's parents torture her? They made her go to bed when she wasn't very sleepy

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What's the difference between George Michael and a microwave oven? One is a human being and the other is a resourceful appliance.

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There was an elephant , a bird, a man, a tree, a cat, a dog, a lion, a horse, a cow, a pig, a duck, a lemon, a turnip, an apple, a rabbit, a slice of pizza and a spoon. I just wasted around 8 seconds of your life

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Two pretzels were walking down the street. One was assaulted. The other, witnessing what he'd seen, developed a harsh stereotype.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black I am blind

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How do you kill a Chinese man? There are many ways, all of which are horrible

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Boy:well you merry me. Girl:no Boy: why not? Girl:becuase you're rapeing me

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Why black people are so good at football? Because they have white feet.

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Q: What did the black guy say to the white guy? A: Nothing, he's a mute.

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How many fingers am i holding up? none, my hand got blown off in Vietnam

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was an attempted suicide. His family left him, he had been in and out of rehab for a terrible cocaine addiction for over ten years, and was still having nightmares about his abusive past.

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Roses are red Violets are blue The last time I saw your mom I made you

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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When is a clown happy? At a child's birthday party.

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Me: Have you ever eaten Ethiopian food? You: No. Me: Neither have they.

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What is the easiest way to babysit a black kid? Find an activity that you can both relate to and enjoy. Hopefully after doing this for a while, the youngster will become tired and fall asleep. You can then watch TV, read or talk on your cell phone until his or her parents get home.

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What did the terminally sick child dream of? I dont know. He never woke up to tell me.

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What did the homeless man without legs and arms, get for Christmas? ... Cancer

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A Jew, an Atheist, and a Muslim walk into a bar. They each drink a bottle, have a conversation, and leave.

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Why was the baseball player happy? He got married.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops