Man 1: Ask me if im a flower Man 2: "are you a flower?" Man 1: if i was a flower do you think i could talk? man 1 was wondering why man 2 was so uneducated

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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human centipede

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Microwave

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drugs.

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What did the bartender say to the upset horse? GET OUT OF MY BAR!!!

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A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says we dont sell juice here. The jew promptly leaves, offended.

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Q: What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? A: A dog

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Evolution is real. Why? Pikachu evolves.

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yo mamma is so fat when people look at her they say "you're fat"

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What do you call a man covered with cottoncandy and goes to the store and buys a jar of pickles? George

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Persond A: A guy blows himself and his family up with a hand grenade Person B: HEY!!! Thats not funny thats how my family died

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who pooped in my garden?

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Why is it hot outside? Because God made it so.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Q: Why didn't the bunny eat the carrot? A: The bunny didn't have any carrots. Poor bunny.

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A man watched his city burn. He was traumatized by the loss of his friends and family and went to therapy to recover.

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one day a bear was eating for winter he ate about half what he had to and said "Im tired ill take a nap and eat the rest later. one month later he died of starvation

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Why did the mans nuts itch he had crabs

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wanna hear a joke? woman's rights.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police your parents just died in a car accident

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What did the man say to his wife before she made him a sandwhich? Do your job and make me a sandwhich.

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outside your comfort zone

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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