How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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What did the average man say the the bird? HOODINI

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns. He won.

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The police shouldn't have cars. They should use skateboards and use flowers as their gun. When they catch a criminal in the act, they have to hug him before sending him to prison

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Whats better than ten dead babys in one trashcan??? One dead baby in ten trashcans.

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He I just met you, and this is crazy, but you sister just died here's her baby.

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A black man walks into Best Buy and buys a Television full price.

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Your mamma's so fat she has diabetes and may die because she may not be able to loose enough weight to keep her blood sugar at a regulated number.

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What do you get when lettuce and oranges come together? I dont know, thats why I asked you.

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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And then Jesus turned the water into wine. Some did not approve of this miracle "masta, whut is da reezon you did aint make this into tha coolaid? Bible files: Directors cut.

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why did the african american man get shot? he partook in a gang life

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Whats black and white and red all over? A dead zebra

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A lysdexic man tries to spell rentally metarded.

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? A warm meal thanks to a Charity organization.

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A whale walks into a bar, everyone says Hey, Ashely!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies " My daughter just died of leukemia."

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Yo Mommas so poor, when i went to her house and started to clear out the cob webs, she said why the heck are you tearing down the curtains.

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Who has a big nose? YOU!!!

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What do friends and trees have in common? They will fall over if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

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A black man walks into a white man on the street. The white man viciously beats the black man.

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A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

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Why did little Johnny eat his homework? Because his family is very poor and he rarely eats.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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