What did Hitler say to his empire, A lot of stuff that I am to lazy to look up, all i know that the holocaust was bad and we shouldn't repeat it.

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What's the difference between a prostitute and a cherry red Ferrari? A cherry red Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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25

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What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

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A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

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And now, A cow pretending to be a man: Jeff: Alan, are you a cow? Alan: What?! No! Cow: Yah me neither you guys want to go skatebords? *Awkward*

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Did you hear about the guy who got all of his left side cut off?! He died of blood loss and permanent damage to his vital organs.

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what happens when you put Rihanna and Chris brown in the same room? Rihanna dies

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What's black and white, and red all over ? An interracial couple who were both gruesomely decapitated in a freak car accident.

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Do you know what has always angered me about people not choosing to control their own lives Nero?

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What do you call a gay drive by? a fruit rollup

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I pissed myself the other day in Harrods when I saw a Somalian boy run up to a curtain saying mummy.

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what do you call a guy with no arms or legs and wearing red and white in the ocean? a dead person and someone needs to call the cops cause thats terrible.

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What do you call a beagle and an eagle mixed together? A beagle.

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I had sex with the Earth, and out came global warming...Imagine what will happen if i had sex with Obama?

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I got stopped for speeding the other day. The policeman said I had to pay a £50 fine. I was gutted. However, later that night I had amazing sex with my wife, which helped me to take my mind off things a bit.

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Why do I know Vin Diesel is gay? Because I sucked his dick

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What has two wheels and a handle bar? A bike.

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The First National Tree Bank just closed down. Don't worry it started a brand new branch.

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If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

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What do you call a fat priest? Obese

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What's the diffence between a pieace of fried chicken and a Jew? A Jew wouldnt scream in a fryer.

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Why wasn't Kevin Love able to draw a perfect circle. Because, he just wasn't able to get the job done

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A man walks inti a bar and asks for a drink, he shows the bartender his ID and is kicked out because the man is underaged.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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