If the blue man lives in the blue house, the red man lives in the red house and the green man lives in the green house, where does the orange man live? In the orange house.

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So I walked upstairs and I told the guy, "No." And he then asks, "Why?"

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How does santa deliver presents? He doesn't, because he's not real!

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Watch your lips.

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that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

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Why 't the blonde dial 911? Because phones haven't had dials on them for at least 40 years or so. She can however punch it in on her keypad.

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Barbara and Martin died in their apartment. The neighbor walked in and found glass and water everywhere. How did they die? -Barbara and Martin were fish.

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You know how they say cats have nine lives? They don't.

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What'd the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Just Dance 2 the video game

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die.

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What did the dog say when the tiger bit him? Nothing. Dogs don't talk.

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What's worse than finding a bug in your soup? The Holocaust

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Communism hehe xd

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

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What's up? Up Adverb: Toward the sky or a higher position. Preposition: From a lower to a higher point on (something); upward along: "I climbed up a flight of steps". Adjective: Directed or moving toward a higher place or position: "the up escalator". Noun: A period of good fortune. Verb: Do something abruptly or boldly: "she upped and left him". Synonyms: adverb. upward - upwards - aloft - above - upstairs - overhead preposition. on - upon - over - along - with adjective. rising noun. ascent - rise - upgrade verb. raise - enhance - increase - lift - rise

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why was the boy crying? ... because he had a frog stapled yo his face.

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A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Because he was bringing food to support his wife and 3 kids whom were very hungry and needed it to survive.

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What's green and has wheels? The Holocaust. I lied about the green and the wheels.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? I don't know, I've never tried to.

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Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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Q: What's the longest word in the dictionary? A: According to the Oxford English Dictionary (second edition), it is "Pseudopseudohypoparathyroidism."

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ive got nothing funny to say, so this is what its like to be a woman

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What do you call a Mad Cow? Dead. Pst, Mr.Cobb if your reading this- Hola.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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