What's black and white and red all over. Half a zebra

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it got out of its cage, was running away from its owner, and crossing a busy street seemed like the most effective way to gain freedom.

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What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

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What did the muffin say to the cup cake? nothing, muffins can't talk, and cup cakes can't hear.

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What white and black and red all over? The wife who refused to report that her husband abused her.

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whats do dinosaurs and people have in common? one of them is extinct.

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Whais red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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What's the difference between a red door and a blue door? Fat black people.

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A Texan, a Mexican, a Brit and a Frenchman are on a plane that begins having engine trouble. The black box was never found.

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What's worse than the haulocost? Not much.

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What's the difference between tiger woods and Santa clause? Tiger woods is a thug

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Emily Brunelle is skinny

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Why did Adele suck the doctors dick? LOL, did you think the doctor really got her to open her mouth all the time so he could "look at her sick throat"

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What does a carrot and a potato have in common? They're both not chocolate

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What did the boy with no arms get for christmas? heart worms

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What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

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What do you call a child sitting alone in the back of a bus? Anti-social and on the verge of depression.

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There was a car crash in Mexico, 78 people were announced dead.

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Cliterus

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

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How many straight naked men can you fit in a wardrobe? I'm not sure but the situation is highly unlikely!

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What did the mexican say to the black guy? He asked if he needed some drugs. Why? He was a pharmacist.

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What is the difference between a mom and a dad? One is a mom and the other is a dad. Why couldn't Fred see the board? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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What's black and red, and covers most of your body? Fourth degree burns. You should say your goodbyes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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