A man is driving and hits a woman. Who's fault is it? The man's: pedestrians always have the right of way.

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Two flatfishes swam in a bathtub.

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Why did Susie fall off the song? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a registered six affender.

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whats worse than 10 babies in a blender 1 baby in 10 blenders

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What's worse than seeing a real joke on this website? Having diarrhea.

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When you give your homecoming date flowers, you're really handing them a bouquet of sex organs

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What do Michael Jackson and a throbbing, greasy, overcooked Shitake Mushroom have in common? Nothing. Just nothing at all.

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to the one below me. YEAH RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the parents tell their adopted son to go to bed? He was awake long after he should've been, according to the rules in their household.

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How do you get an elephant into a fridge? You can't - elephants are too big to fit in fridges. How do you get a giraffe into a fridge? You can't, see above. If there is a raging fire in the jungle, which animal will survive? Most likely the parrots and other birds, as they can fly away.

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how did hitler lure the jews onto trains to concentration camps? he told them he hid a penny in one of the cars

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Why did the guy jump out of the plane? he was parachuting

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How do you make an onion cry? Onions are incapable of crying

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Why was the giant scorpion sad? Because the Holocaust killed his entire family.

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your mum

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Does an albino chameleon turn different shades of white?

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who's that hot blonde at the disco? your mother.

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Why didn't the boy see the pirate movie? Because he didn't have eyes.

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Bill is walking down the street when a girl who had a crush on him 20 years ago sees him, goes up to him, and says, "I think I know you, what is your name?". Bill says, "Timmy," and keeps walking because he is an asshole.

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What did the Polish man say to his doctor? "Witam, doktorze. By?em kaszel z ostatnich kilku tygodni i jest wysypka na moim lewym ramieniu. Czy jest co? co mo?na zrobi?, aby mi pomóc?" I don't know what it means, either.

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

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What's green, three feet tall, and can live forever? Definitely not Julie Andrews.

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No, luke. I am your father. damnit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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