An Irishman walked into a pub and ordered a pint. He had planned to just have one but ended up having two since he'd had a rough day at work. His wife was slightly annoyed that he came home smelling of beer.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the sloth cross the road? To murder your whole family.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is 0+0? 0, I am not dumb

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A fairly-priced Apple computer.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

I used to have a shirt just like yours, except it was green. And it was a bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why wasn't jimmy at Paul's party? He died in a fatal car crash and flew out y The windshield and landed in boiling oil then a dog ate him.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what did the beaver so to the rattle snake? snap your bagles

thumb_up thumb_down -48

How many Italians does it take to change a light bulb....... 1

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the cowboy say to the alien? Nothing, this is a dream. Wake up.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What did the black man do in the Italian Pub? He gave a 20% tip and couldn't have been more courteous.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did Jesus say last before being nailed to the cross? I don't know, It never happened. ...Why did he say that? He didn't, it's not real.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had very recentley made his escape from a nearby farm, of which was owned by a man close to dying of a Rhabdoid Tumor. His family was in mourn.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What should you do if a stranger picks you up? Politely request that he put you down.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between a black man and a bench. The bucket.

thumb_up thumb_down

old spice body spay is so powerfull it can block BO for 16 hours. its so powerfull it can turn of the sun, but then it gets to cold, so it makes another sun........DOUBLE SUN POWWWWWEEEERRRRRRR!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

roses are red violets are blue i have dementia its not funny

thumb_up thumb_down -18

YOUR MOM HAS A DICK IN HER ASSCHEEKS!!!

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a woman in a kitchen ? There rightful place.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what did the crow say do the dead gazelle? - nothing the crow ate it

thumb_up thumb_down -6

There are four dead people on a boat. They commit suicide. Why did they commit suicide. To get to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What is the difference between a dead baby and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's brown and sticky? Shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worse then ten dead babies in a barrel? The one at the bottom is still alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

So, there was two successful business men at a social gathering when one leans in to the other to comment, "Hey, that women over there, she looks like your wife!" to which the other one replies, "That is my wife."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops