Roses are red Violets are blue I like you Get in the van

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She had no arms.

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What do you call a guy with an ax in his chest? An ambulance.

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When Gronkowski spikes the ball, 20 children die.

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What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

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Josh Groban, John Mayer, Ben Folds and Nick Cave are at an underground club that specialises in lithuanian folk music and siberian vodka. end of story

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There were three elephants in a bathtub. One said, "Pass me the soap." The other one said, "What do you think I am? A Radio???"

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Why did you insult me and then punch me in the face? The hell if you care anymore, I killed you straight after. Neo-Nero. (Rest in peace Nero7 better known as The Moral Man, I hope I can one day live up to your greatness.) Moral: "Keep your spirits up, we are all going to die sometime, but life means nothing if we lose faith in ourselves and each other" Moral 2: "Nero Septimus, that will be my first and last moral that made a figment of fucking sense, if you are watching from whatever comes from life, I know that this is what you would have done, but just so you know and always wanted for us that followed you, I am doing this for my own goddamn fucking self, respects... Now if your ghost is still watching, get the fuck out of my room you damn cripple, and know that your arm is somewhere in the basement because its so goddamn bad ass that it fucking freaks me out, and so fucking heavy that I think you where some sort of superhuman, now gtfo, as you taught us, we cant focus on the goddamn afterlife, if we are gonna get the best out of life and the present, adios amigo"

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What did the catholic priest say to the naked boy where are your clothes?

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why cant helen keller drive? because cars werent popularly accepted when she lived.

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What do you call something round and red that tastes like a tomato and shoots through walls? A Super Tomato. And what do you call a banana that shoots through walls? A banana trying to be a Super Tomato.

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Why can't helen keller drive? She never got her permit

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What did the gay logger do to the tree with a hole in it? Cut it down.

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A black person walks out of KFC

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish, who had a horrible accident with a fishing hook

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 2.5 million children in the world are suffering from HIV/AIDs.

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What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

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JUST KIDDING^

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Q: Why do Indians smell? A: Cause they have noses? Racist.

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Q: What would have been the easiest way to stop the second world war without killing anyone? A: Paid Hitler for his art.

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2 sausages were in a frying pan. 1 sausage says it sure is hot in here, the other sausage says WTF a talking sausage!

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What's more annoying than dyslexic jokes? Jokes were peopel spel words rong.

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Whats worse than a fly in your soup? The Holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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