why did the irishman leave the bar he had to go to his sons birthday party

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's black, white and re(a)d all over ? A penguin in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A hitman and his target walked in the same bar togather what happend? nothing because a hitman has better things to do and the target would lay low.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Nero, listen, do not try to imply that you created the Iron man method, that was developed by many people over the duration of many years in the former underground society. You seem far too educated to be the savage you claim to be, if I told you that our people will do the uttermost to see if we can fix that eye of yours and succeed, will you forgive my failure and imperfections as a leader? Look at it this way, I am a leader, not a ruler, what my followers do is up to them, but if they cannot understand that they have to pay the consequences behind their actions, they have no place within the order, as for the expression "my order" it is simply what my many followers like for me to say, not because they are unwilling to take responsibility, but as a token of praise. Our articulations and means of expressing desire and such are very much the same, have you ever been part of our order?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, did you know you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate replies, "Arrrgh, there's been a horrible nautical accident. Please call an ambulance immediately."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What happens if you don't use a condom? The person you are sleeping with may get pregnant or contract some kind of STI or STD. In worse cases you or your partner may contract HIV or possibly AID's.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

People with Alzheimers will not remember this joke

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What long black and tasty? Licorice

thumb_up thumb_down +18

5 black men walk into a 7-11 at midnight. They clog the all of the toilets in the mens bathroom causing them to over run.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

There once was a man in Peru Who dreamed he was eating his shoe He awoke with a fright In the middle of the night To find that someone was breaking into his house

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock, Knock Whos There, Jews, Jes who, Whould you like some jews with that.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Where did Sarah go during the bombing? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I ponder

thumb_up thumb_down +13

It was just Michael J. Fox's birthday I wonder if he got in trouble for shaking his presents.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Electronic Arts is a respectable company.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why is six afraid of seven? Because six is a numerophobe.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A Man: Why does it seem as though you always find what you need in the last place you look? Another Man: Probably because you don't continue to look.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why is black people's skin darker? Africa

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What happens when two planes both crush a tower in New York City? A: Bad news.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's so good about being Swiss? Well.... The flag's a big plus

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

You know what's gay?? Lesbians

thumb_up thumb_down -28

sir ya look like ron weasly hhahahahaha LEL

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops