Two black guys walk into a bar. Bartender asks them what they want to drink.

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why do prostitutes do what they do? Because they have abusive fathers who always used them as sex slaves as children

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Why do skinny women eat their food fresh cooked? So that they don't contract food-borne diseases and risk dying.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Becuase the farmer has recently gone blind due to old age and he acidently left the gate opened and the chicken happened to walk out

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Good luck on your finals everyone!

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How do you stop a car? Put on the Brake

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whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

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Q: What did the priest say to the rabbi? A: Our God is a wonderful, loving god; praise his name.

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A man walks into a bar and gets drink

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My son won the lottery. I shot him so I could have the money.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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what did the african say after he got beat by the cops? wow i really shouldn't have sliced that mans head off.

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Mac: Hi, I'm a Mac! PC: And I'm a PC. Steve Jobs died.

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What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

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If Chuck Norris has $5 and you have $5... that's $10.

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar, they order a few drinks, then call a cab to go home.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No particular reason. It probably wasn't even aware the the ground it was crossing is what's termed as a road.

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Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

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A woman was strolling around town when she turned into a dark alley. She was cold and scared. Suddenly a ferocious looking man jumped out with a knife. The end.

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Why was the kid mad? Because he died.

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My cat used to be afraid of storms. But now it's dead.

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How do you make a tissue dance? Blow a little boogie in it!

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What's similar between a flamingo and a rhino? They're both pink...except the rhino

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what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops