how do you stop a bus? Well, just up the road is a stop sign so the bus will stop there because it is illegal to go through a stop sign without stopping.

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Two blondes and a brunnett walk into a bar. Remarkably, there was nothing else notable about any of them.

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Daddy look! Roses! No son, those are rhododendrons... Daddy how do you spell rhododendrons? Uh... never mind son those are roses. So... Daddy how do you spell roses? Son, never mind that is a dog. So daddy how do you spell... SHUT UP! Moral: I put a spell on you.

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A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender looks down at him and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." the grasshopper looks up at the bartender...then proceeds to hop along because Grasshoppers can't communicate with humans. Then several of the bars patrons looked at the bartender, worried for his mental health.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ....Because based on modern mathematics the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.

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dick in your mouth just kidding haaaaaa

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Why did Princess Diana cross the road? Because she wasnt wearing a seat belt.

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What's black & sits at the top of the staircase? A quadriplegic after a house fire.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? ?? She had just prepared her breakfast and was late for her full-time job as a police officer.

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what do you call a black man being hung from a tree? -prejudice

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What did George Washington say to his men before they got on a boat? Men, get on the boat

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Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am adopted And so are you

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What do call a man with a daranged wife? Married

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why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? He likes bungie jumping, and wanted to cheer himself up by doing one of his favorite hobbies

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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What do you get when you mix hydrochloric acid and a humans digestive track? Death.

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Roses are red, Sometimes they're white. Or pink. Or yellow. There are roses of many colors.

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how many toyota's does it take to pee on a soccer game 900 because isis is a cat vagina

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why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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your mothers so over weight that when she jumps in a pool she displaces a proportionately larger volume of water then someone with less body mass.

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I wanted to burn alot of calories so i found a fat kid and set him on fire. :3

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Someone asked me yesterday why my friend Portier is named after a sports car... I mean, fair enough, it is a common misconception but they live in the country and her Dad drives a tractor; think it through. [L]

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops