I like to use vasoline during sex. I put it on the doorknob so she can't escape.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive Cause she's a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did Helen Keller's parents do when they were displeased with her behavior? They beat the shit out of her.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What rhymes with orange? Somalia.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats worse than a baby crying on a plane. 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, Therefore no one knew why his name was Fuzzy Wuzzy.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you do with a dog with no legs? Take it for a drag.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why did the packers win the superbowl? because they were very good

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the girl fall of the swing someone threw a refrigerator at her

thumb_up thumb_down +11

ask me if im a tree are you a tree? yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Tom: So I heard a pretty good Anti-Joke the other day. Jim: Oh, I love those!! What was it? Tom: [says nothing]

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Jon "Bones" Jones will be fighting Rashad Evans for the Light Heavyweight title tonight at 10PM Eastern time at UFC145.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A horse walked into a bar, and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?". The horse replied, "It's evolutionarily efficient to have an elongated skull so that I can eat vegetation with ease."

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game. She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand." "What did you not understand?" And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Today I had sex with a married man, but thats OK he's my husband

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: What weighs 6 ounces, is extremely dangerous, and lives in a tree? A: A sparrow with a machine gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A son went to ask his father about his thoughts on abortion. "Dad, what do you think about abortion?" "Ask your sister." "I don't have a.."

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do a grape and an elephant have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Whats similar about an elephant and a plum? Theyre both gray, except for the plum

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you give Salley enough energy swim against the river current? Add your own electric current.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q:Why did the chicken cross the road A:He didn't he was tortured then killed and turned into a sandwich that you can buy for the price of $1.00

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Irrelevant. The road is no place for chickens.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what do you call a gay kid? KIRK, SAV, FRANK, or even KIRKLE THE TURTLE

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did Jane's parachute not open? Because a plane hit her on the way down.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops