Q: What do you call a girl with no arms or legs, is blind, has no parents, has cancer, and is dyslexic? A: Suzie

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Roses are red Violets are blue But this is Italy So let me fuck you

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I'd like to make this joke funnier but I can't. It's stupid. I don't even like it.

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Q: What do you do when you meet someone new? A: You don`t know and expect me to do so? Get a life!

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Why was the girl crying on the busy street? She was naked.

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Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? Because leprechauns don't exist.

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2 brothers were arguing, both had anger problems to the point where one started war with the other. Boy1: I HATE YOU Boy2: MOM HATES YOU Boy1: ....Wait why? Boy2: YOU WERE AN ACCIDENT SHE TRIED TO SELL YOU TO A MEXICAN AND HE SAID THAT THING WAY TOO DAM UGLEH ITD BURN THE FACES OFF MY COWS.

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What's brown and ryhmes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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Why did the woman drop her keys? She was being raped.

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Stevie Wonder valentine: Roses are black, Violets are black, everything is black, I cant see shit!

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Why did the man jump into the river? He wanted to go for a swim, but the pool was closed, so he swam in the river.

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Some people are like Slinkies: they get really boring after a while.

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What's brown and smelly? Poop.

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who is still together after all the crap they have been through? your butt cheeks

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

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What do you call a black guy who flys a plane? A pilot.

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ARE YOU READY?! ARE YOU READY FOR LOVE!? YES I AM, AH! ARE YOU READY?! ARE YOU READY FOR LOVE?! The judge did not find the Elton John song worthy of negating the statuary rape charges and sentenced him to nine years in jail.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a ginger all die in a car accident. Their souls all go to heaven. Nevermind, only the blonde, and brunette's souls went to heaven, since everybody knows, gingers don't have souls.

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what is the worst thing a bout four black men driving a Cadillac off a cliff? they were my friends

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Q: Why did the cat roll down the hill? A: It had no legs

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A bar walks into a man... Wait...

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What do you get when you throw a hand grenade in a French bathroom? Imprisonment up to 15 years in an international detainment facility.

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What do u call a dumb Asian. An american

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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