A horse cantered into a bar.

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so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

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Charlie Sheen, Mel Gibson, and Chris Brown all walk into a bar. I don't know what the punchline is, but I'm pretty sure the cops are there.

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if a kayak was stuck in a tree with its headlights on, how many pancakes stacked will it take to get to the moon? none because snakes dont have armpits

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What's one very bad way to injure yourself? Smashing your head against a metal surface

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if bob has 400 pieces of chocolate and eats 200 chocolates how many does he have left. none he died from diabetes

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What do you call a black guy who gives out change? A cashier.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your real father. I left you when you were a month old and I have regretted the decision ever since. I would like to be a part of your life.

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A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

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What did the sad orphan with liver cancer get for Christmas? Pictures of dead babies to put things in perspective.

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What happens to a fish with no fin on the right side? It repeatedly swims in circle.

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Why dont we just make fun of both? *mexican music plays*

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she got shot in the heart with a bolt action sniper rifle and died.

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Why did the little boy cry? Because he stuck his finger into a blender

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Me: You know what's funnier than 24. Friend: 25? Me: No, 9/11

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Why did the Football Coach go to the Bank?? To Cash his Paycheck.

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Guess my favourite fruit. Peach.

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Why did the man kill himself? Because he had a gun

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why did the chicken cros the road? Becuase the all the cars were stopped at the near by red light.

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Why would someone smile at a tumble weed? I don't know, it's an inanimate object.And is ugly Just like the couch in the basement in That 70's Show.

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I used to work at a chemical plant manufacturing hydrochloric acid. I couldn't handle it. One day a container exploded and I got severe chemical burns on my face. The scarring is awful. It has ruined my life.

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The original joke: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT HOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The anti joke, aka realistic edition: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT YAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHH!" The ballon edition: Original: "Balloon! Watch out for that Cactus!" "What Cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss..." (leaking air you slowmo) The anti-joke aka realistic version: "Balloon watch out for that pointy soda!" "What soda *pop*" Moral: None of these where the least realistic!

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Bartender asks her, "why the long face?". She tells him it's from her parent's genes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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