What did one volcano say to the other? Nothing. Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

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knock knock whos there? your neighbor, dude im sorry but i swear i didnt see your kid on my drive way.

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Q. What did the boy do for his birthday? A. Nothing. His birthday occurred on 9-11.

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How do you make money? Kill babies and sell them.

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what's the worst thing ever? reality TV shows and singing contest shows

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? You don't call it anything. You don't drive a plane you fly it.

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what's the difference between fulham and sunderland ? hugh grant and lilly allen's dad

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What does a baby sound like being cooked in the microwave. I don't know I was to busy masterbating.

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What's worse than being killed? Reading these jokes.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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Sarah lost both arms in a car accident Knock knock Who's there? Not sarah. Roses are red Violets are blue Wow. Clever Knock knock Who's there? Still not Sarah, as she is in a serious condition at her local hospital, and so is fighting for her life.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that : L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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There are two types of people in this world: Those who can finish lists. and

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What did Selena Gomez say to JB? We're breaking up cuz u smell like French fries and you look like a poop

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I raped someone in my basement... ...Just Kidding!... ...I dont have a basement

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Asians

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Why do canadians have a lower violent crime rate than the U.S? Because they were all raped as children and are now afraid of getting raped again when bathing in prision.

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Yo momma's so fat that her weight is completely disproportional to the average weight of someone her age.

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How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

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what did the 0 say to the 8 nice belt

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Why is purple the best color. Cuz icecream has no bones

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Q: Why did they laugh at the black guy? A: He told a funny joke.

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What did the gay kid in high school say? I'm straight.

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Yo mama's so ugly, she has difficulty attracting a partner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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