What do you call six white guys on a bench? Six white guys at the park

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How do you keep a black man out of your back yard? Tell him to go away.

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What did Abraham lincoln do after getting assassinated? Certainly not riding a bike thats for sure.

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Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

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Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a big fat bully!

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What do you call a computer running Windows DOS? Obselete

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Hitler wasn't that bad... He DID kill Hitler.

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Why does manure smell like poop? Because it is poop.

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What's red, black, and green all over? A dead black bear. Just no green.

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Why can't Amy Winehouse sing? She's dead.

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Roses are red Violets are red I have Ebola

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Why did nobody bother to help the old lady cross the road? Because her actions in recent years had given rise to considerable division and ill-feeling within the community.

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What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a person and one is an inanimate object

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how do you make coffee you put it in a mug

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why did the physics major drop out of college? because he stumbled onto a finding that made him contemplate life so much that he needed to go to africa to study where the source of the finding where he later caught AIDS from an infected village person, he was later flown back to the US where he was cured out of a miracle but later hanged himself because he was not allowed to go back to africa and find out the meaning of life.

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What do the pope and an orange have in common? They're both fruits. Except for the pope.

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How many victims of the holocaust does it take to screw in a light bulb? Zero. They're all dead you sick fuck.

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The Qur'an

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Q:why did i cross the road A: time to get a watch

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Did you hear about the boy who got an AM radio? It took him a month to realize that he can play it at night too.

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What's cooler than being cool? An object at absolute zero

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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