What's 7+7? 14 you dumbass

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There once was a man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two (I sense the public demanding an encore) There once was a man from Verdun There's also a limerick about Emperor Nero, but I can't tell it to you.

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What's similar between the Alabama Crimson Tide and a maggot? They've both been feeding off of a dead Bear for 30 years...

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what happened to the fat lady she went on a diet and is now skinny but she cant resist mcdonalds big macs so she quickly become fat

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You're really messed up right now... elephants don't talk

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Why was the little boy bald? Because he had leukaemia

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How did the girl get rid of a fever? She took medicine.

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Q:What's red and hurts your teeth? A:A brick

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How did the plumber fix the leaky faucet? Trick question. The plumber is actually an iguana.

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I Won a Math Debate................ say it fast unless your blind then dont say it wait you cant read it so uhhm Alaska

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Why did the black person eat fried chicken Because fried chicken tends to be an abundant food in the African American community and that was the quickest and cheapest weekend afternoon food source nearest to his house. It is also found in many other communities throughout the country and even the world. Oh yeah, he was hungry

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What did the Christian say to the Muslim. Nothing. He understood his right to have a opinion even if his religion is against it.

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If dropped from the same height, which hits the ground first an apple or a baby? the apple because the baby has a rope tied around its neck

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Whats in your pants, might get caught in your zipper and you may hold it all day. your pocket.

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There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

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what happened to the cripple after he got in a wheel chair? cancer of the eye

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Two Mexicans walk into a bar, The bartender says your hired.

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What the difference between Adolf Hitler and Michael Phelps? Micheal Phelps can finish a race.

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The Detroit Lions

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Q:Where was The Declaration of Independence signed? A: At the bottom

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Neither have I

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A black man orders a pizza to be delivered to his house. He is delightfully pleased at the speed in which the pizza was delivered and decided he would order from that pizza shop again in the near future.

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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