Yo mommas so fat... that when it was rainning, she put on her rain coat and went outside, everyone was saying that the sun came up

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A man with a gun walks into a bar. The police are called and the man was killed quickly.

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Hitler: Ve shud vork togeza and place stategic bombs overr your island. Castro: You are dead.

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A horse walks into a bar. A chicken crosses the road. Humanity is no more. Nature reclaims the Earth.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? That depends on what his name is.

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why did the dog chase the cat? because the cat chased the dog first.

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Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on?

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Doorbell repairman. ym

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Why did Osama bin Laden cross the road? To get shot in the face.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

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what does the sloth say to dylan sedgwick nothing dylan is the sloth

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Ow, there's an arrow in my knee!

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wat is the difference between rainbows and poop? I LOVE RAINBOWS!

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Two men walk into a bar. And they enjoy a good night of drinking beer and playing pinball.

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What did the man say when he found out he had cancer? Nothing. He was so in shock, that he later died from another type of cancer.

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Q: what happens when you eat all the potatoes A: there all gone

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What looks like a jew, smells like a jew, but claims he isn't jewish? Fletcher Phillips

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A chicken and a triceratops walk into a bar. They both immediately recognize each other and start trading anti-jokes, of which no one else in the bar understood, for they are animals, and animals cannot speak. Which brings up the question of how the triceratops and the chicken would communicate in any way that was conversely accurate to how humans would make jokes. Also adding in the fact that they are both from different eras of time, and the people wonder why a triceratops is walking around when they are in fact extinct. Turns out, the triceratops was an animatronic that gained sentience and ran off the set of Jurassic Park IV, a movie production that was not yet announced, as Steven Spielberg was still working on other movies that were more important at the time. The chicken flew in here because he heard the bar was close-by to where he worked, so he decided to drop by after a long Friday. The bartender finally walks up and asks the triceratops, "What would you like?" The triceratops then went on a rampage and killed everyone inside because he was an alcoholic and lost his family because of it, since his ex-wife would be worked to the bone trying to raise his 2 children and adopted platypus son David. He lost everything in the divorce. Why was he in a bar then? I don't know, I can't talk to dinosaurs. The chicken then befriended the triceratops, as the chicken was a secret anarchist who sought to bring down all the stores on the street, as his mother was killed there while trying to cross the street. She fell into a manhole. The chicken and the triceratops then traded usernames on League of Legends then played out that Friday teaming up and taking down Evil. How do they play League if they're animals? Because this whole story is made up and you wasted a good 2-3 minutes trying to read this.

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Once there was a pig named Poga. When he grew up, he was slaughtered and made into bacon.

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What did the parrot say to the cow? Moo

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What is more disappointed the Lake Disappointment? You

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Womens' sports

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What do you call someone who puts one number on here as a joke? Someone with no life.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops