Q: What's bigger than a volcano? A: Earth

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The 8 year old in my trunk

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Whats the difference between a rabbit an a eagle? They both fly except for the rabbit

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What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

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Chuck Norris once starred in a movie with Bruce Lee.

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Why does my girlfriend pee standing up? Because he is a man.

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What happens when two Mexicans walk up to blonde and a red head sitting in car? The Mexicans attempt to smash the windshield with crowbars because they have issues with anger. The redhead turns on the car and reverses safely.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? -You can research and find several similarities and differences, but I will not go into detail about them.

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Three men walked into a bar. None were injured because they were all wearing hard hats as is the procedure for a construction site.

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Hey I'm a poet and I didn't even realize that I was a poet

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Q: What did the Jewish man say to the Muslim man? A: Hello, how are you today? Nice weather we're having, isn't it?

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Why did the chicken cros- oh he got hit by a car.

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i have read and agree to the terms of service

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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Why did everyone at school think that Susan was so hot? They set her on fire.

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Roses are red Violets are red I have Ebola

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hey i just met you.. and this is crazy. but here my facebook so add me maybe!!

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A blond, a brunet, and a red head jumped off a bridge. Which one hit the ground first? In order to solve this problem you would first need to figure out witch of the three had more of a body mass. Then you would need to calculate the accretion in case one brought along a cow. However, in the end the outcome is always the same: 3 dead bodies on impact and 3 mourning families.

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Q.How do you get a dog to meow ? A. Put the dog in the freezer overnight . . Get a chainsaw and run it along his back in the morning . " Meowrrrr..."

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What do you get if you cross an Irishman with a Brazilian Aristocrat? I don't know.

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Your mom is so fat that she turns "One Size Fits All" to "One Size Fits Most"

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knock knock. who's there myfeth myfeth who myfether came off

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How do Mexicans like their eggs? It's a matter of personal opinion, of course.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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