Hey

What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Clearly the only answer is because he's blind

Three men, a doctor, a lawyer, and a biker were sitting in a bar talking over a few drinks. After a sip of his Martini, the doctor said, "You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I bought my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedes. I figure if she doesn't like the diamond ring, then at least she will like the Mercedes, and she will know that I love her." After finishing his scotch, the lawyer said, "Well, on my last anniversary, I bought my wife a string of pearls and a trip to the Bahamas. I figured if she didn't like the pearls, then at least she would have enjoyed the trip, and she would have known that I loved her." The biker then took a big swig from his beer, and said, "Yeah, well for my anniversary, I got my old lady a t-shirt and a vibrator. I figured if she didn't like the t-shirt, then she could go f*** herself."

why does the gay guy like anal-sex? because he's gay.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Columbine Massacre

What did the man in the mirror say to the other man The Same F****** Thing!!

What is red and doesnt exist? No-tomato.

why can't James swim at 2010 summer ? because james died at 2009

Why was the turkey killed? Because this particular turkey lived on a farm and a supermarket was paying the farmer a reasonable price to sell it.

whats difference between womens rights now and 10 years ago? nothing, they are both just lies men tell women to make them feel good.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Your mum. Your mum who? Dinner is ready, come down stairs.

Five Mexicans were driving down the motorway in a Ford. Must've been a Fiesta.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I said so.

Pick up lines: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're wearing a university of Tennessee sweatshirt. If I could rearrange the alphabet to put 'U' and 'I' together, I would not do it because I would have to reorganize all of my alphabetized files. Is it hot in here to you or am I experiencing early signs of a stroke?

Q. What did the man say when he beat his video game? A. "I beat my video game." Q. What did the man say after his favorite sports team missed the playoffs? A. "My favorite sports team missed the playoffs." Q. What did the man say when a murderer was in his house? A. Nothing. He was dead.

So there were two... sigh... I hate my life....

What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

What did the man do after he rented a movie? He watched it

What did the lady find when she walked through the door? Her husband stabbing himself to death because she ate his cornflakes

Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

why was the giraffes head so far away from his body? because he has a long neck

what's the black mans shirt made out of? cotton

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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