A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'Why the long face?' The horse replies 'I've got AIDS.'

What is the square root of 69? 8.306623863

A woman was in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband. Shortly after she brings the sandwich to him and he thanks her seeing as his disabled legs prevent him from walking to the kitchen and making one himself. His wife later heads to her job as a firefighter.

dalas rof rezilitref taerg a si citsalp. Read it from right to left.

Why did the deer cross the road? To cause the car crash that killed my father when i was just 15 years old.

A dog is walking down the street. The dog catcher promptly arrives and takes him to the pound. Two months later the dog is in a new, happy home with a wonderful family.

American: Nice cowboy hat Australian: hahahahahaha American: What's so funny? Australian: You're so incompetent... American: What does incompetent mean? Australian: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/7/78/Trollface.svg/200px-Trollface.svg.png

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He then proceeds to ask his wife not to leave her clothing around the house.

knock knock no no you go now i clean

What has a skinny head and specky? Josh Moran.

What did Niel Patrick Harris do after coming out of the closet? He grabbed his jacket and went for a delightful stroll in the park.

Yo mamma so crazy She chloroformed a 4 year old and put her in her trunk and no one has ever heard of her since.

In 1843 when Man invented the moon, people set sail on ironclad ships to lands that sold items that weren't for sale in similar such stores in other lands not reachable by ironclad ships or dirigibles as they became known once they changed form completely and were a differentobject entirely and of no use for water transport. That's when the real revolution in telecommunications began, the truck drivers would use CB radios as early as 1287 and 1276 in Canada. the CB radio enabled the users to order pizza and develop symbiotic relationshiops with canvas. Amongst other things.

Why couldn't Prince William go to the party? Because his WIFE bought tickets to the f**cking ballet.

What's yellow and smells like piss? Piss

Why'd The Chicken Cross The Road? He Crossed The Road To Stand In An Icecream Line , Where A Little Boy Stood Infront Of Him, The Chicken Was Scared To Cross The Road Again To Get To The Other Side Because He Saw The Little Boy Get Hit By A Bus. So The Chicken Decided The Best Thing To Do Was To Sit Under A Tree , Where A Big White Thing Fell On Him , It Was A Fridge, Once The Fridge Hit The Ground Mexicans Ran Out And Then Explained To There Local Chickens What Crossing The Street Can Cause Them. To Be Dead. Moral: Dont Let A Chicken Cross The Road. :)

What do you call a depressed nerd who plays WoW. Me....

Miranda Cosgrove's singing career. ......Thats it. Thats the joke.

What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

What's silent but deadly? Limnic Eruption.

Why was the black man eating a banana? Because bananas are an excellent source of potassium.

Q: What's full of different butts and smells bad? A: An ashtray.

You Scream, I Scream, The cops come, It's awkward

I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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