The chicken crossed the road.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry, Show me your tits.

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"Lack of sleep" is that like... Sleep deprivation?

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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Amy Winehouse has been sober for 2 weeks now.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a predator and crossing the road led it away from it's pursuer.

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Q: Why wasn't the baby playing with his blocks? A: Because his face was stapled to the floor

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A man walks into a bar. It was his push-up bar that he didn't install high enough. He bumps his head and it hurts.

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What is Colder than a witch's tit? Not much. It was removed for biopsy and kept in the pathology freezer. At absolute zero.

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69

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What is better than a dead baby nailed to a tree? A dead baby nailed to 10 Trees.

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Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

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What do you call a Mexican hot dog? Lunch.

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Ouch, a papercut .. what could be worse? A hatchet cut.

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what is red, yellow, green, blue, purple, and violet? Blood i lied about the other colors...

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Knock knock. Who's there? Stop fucking around I told you I was coming. I'm sorry. Come in.

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Llamaworm

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What is black and has no education A tire.

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Why did Gina laugh? Because something was funny.

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School

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please ignore the bottom two 'jokes' as they were written by josh carey and ryan danielz

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Those who believe that Sarah Palin is dumb are living in some fantasyland. She could damn well speak as much as anyone else!

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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Womens rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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