why did the man get ran over by a turtle? he crossed the STREET

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I like poop in my butt

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Why are a black man's eyes always bloodshot red after having sex? Pepper spray.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the man fall off the cliff? I pushed him????????

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the giraffe say to the other? nothing giraffes cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's white and is your slave? Your computer.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A Cheerio is at Cheerio high school, and there is another Cheerio that he wants to ask to the prom, but she is a frosted Cheerio and because of Cheerio social statuses she would not go with him. So he goes to the Cheerio factory so he can become a frosted Cheerio. The factory workers tell him that he can be a frosted Cheerio, but the machines are malfunctioning today and they can only frost half of him. He agrees, and the girl Cheerio goes to the prom with him. He shows up at the prom with her, and she asks him to get her some punch. So, he's walking around, looking for the punch line, when he realizes: There isn't any.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was the black man arrested? Tax evasion.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

If she is old enough to bleed, she probably uses tampons.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A Because it couldn't fly

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's green, and looks like money? Money...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two black people passed me in an alley at night...... They said hi

thumb_up thumb_down +55

What do you call a dancing panda bear? I'm not sure, but panda bears are pretty big, so the possibility of them dancing is highly unlikely.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A white man, a black man, a Mexican man and a Chinese man were on the same bus. The didn't socialize cuz that would count as racism

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's long, hard, and has come in it? A long, hardcovered book.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's 1+5 2+4 3+3 4+2 5+1 Whats 6+1 If you said 6 you're stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you treat people that cannot say no in just two seconds? (redux and spellchecked) Treatment: Hi...: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! SAY IT MUAHAHAHA! People: NO PLEASE I CANT! NOOOOOO! *door unlocks* Problem solved, NEXT!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the fortune cookie taste bad? I forgot to take the wrapper off.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin, get into the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? As much as he wants to.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

You Scream, I Scream, The cops come, It's awkward

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops