T u r n i p s

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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how did the kenyan get away from the cup He didnt he got arrested

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Why didn't the man tip his waitress? Because he's a cheap bastard.

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An boy with ADHD walks into a

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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PFF! I hate that shit XD not saying that claymation cant be art, but that Plonsters or whatever is just something I dragged out of my head.

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What did little Jimmy get for Christmas? Presents because he wasn't poor.

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why can't hellen keller drive? Because she is visually impared and there for it would not be safe for her to drive

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What did the boyfriend ask his girlfriend for on his birthday? Pokemon Yellow version.

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust? What's worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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What happened when the 16 year old told her mother she was pregnant? Her mother was extremely disappointed that her daughter did not stay faithful to an abstinent life but eventually became proud of the fact that she would soon be a grandmother.

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What do you call a muslim with a gun I dont know his name

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he had more fat than average, so he was very buoyant

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Q:What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting raped by a giant scorpion

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A woman takes a shortcut through a dark alley. She is raped, robbed, and murdered. Her family mourns her death.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on its sex. Females weigh 150-250kg, and males weigh upwards of 350kg.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Grass is red, HOLY SHIT THE GARDEN'S ON FIRE

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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An armed ninja walks into a bank. He is apprehended by the police, whom he tries to attack with a drawn sword, and is promptly shot down in a hail of gunfire causing civilian injuries and rather significant property damage.

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Why did the Asian Cross the road? Because the crossing signal went green!

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What's worse than dropping your phone in the toilet? Drinking only milk and honey for 7 days and then getting diarrhea while lying chained up completely naked with red fire ants going up your anus and all over your body while you get eaten alive in slow painfully miserable death

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what did the chinese guy say to the black guy? hello

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What did batman say to robin before getting into the bat mobile? Don't touch my penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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