What is Colder than a witch's tit? Not much. It was removed for biopsy and kept in the pathology freezer. At absolute zero.

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69

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What is better than a dead baby nailed to a tree? A dead baby nailed to 10 Trees.

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Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

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What do you call a Mexican hot dog? Lunch.

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Ouch, a papercut .. what could be worse? A hatchet cut.

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what is red, yellow, green, blue, purple, and violet? Blood i lied about the other colors...

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Knock knock. Who's there? Stop fucking around I told you I was coming. I'm sorry. Come in.

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Llamaworm

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What is black and has no education A tire.

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Why did Gina laugh? Because something was funny.

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School

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please ignore the bottom two 'jokes' as they were written by josh carey and ryan danielz

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Those who believe that Sarah Palin is dumb are living in some fantasyland. She could damn well speak as much as anyone else!

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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Womens rights.

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why did the man die? because he died.

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What did my grandma tell me during a funeral? Nothing. It's her funeral. She's dead.

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what did the obese kid get for chistmas? an athsma attack ,which led to death.

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There are 10 fish, 5 of them drown, how many are left? 10, fish can't drown

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A russian, a mexican, and an american are all sitting in a tavern. The russian ordered vodka, the mexican orders tequila, and the american orders a beer. When the waiter arrives, the russian throws his vodka into the air, shoots it, and says "we got too many of those in our country". The mexican tosses up his tequila and says "we got too many of those in our country". The american throws up his beer, shoots the mexican, and says "we got too many of those in our country". And then drinks his beer.

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What did God say to the priest while he was masturbating.... ... God doesn't exist.

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The WPGA tour

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A blonde went to a hair dresser's one day, listening to a walkman. The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied, "I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off." The woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told. While she was brushing the blonde's hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking them to the ground. As she bent down to pick them up, the blonde fell over, onto the floor. The hair dresser was very confused. She picked up the head phones and listened. This is what she heard..."breath in...breath out...breath in...breath out..."!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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