What happens when you step on Jupiter? You cannot.

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I meant to state that I threatened to kill him unless he refused to state that I broke his knees (and broke his wrists, I forgot to mention that too, such misery... ...Give a real man a chance here, its not every day I have to kill my mother... But you still wont hear me whining about it, asked my wife if she forgave me if I spent the rest of the day smirking, after all my mother "had visions" where my wife was Satan, which is fun, since I was also Satan the day I was born... Because my name is Nero... A NAME SHE GAVE ME! Still, not very dignifying getting the shit beat out that old hag because she was on some blend of angel dust, and still not so fun killing her by biting half her neck off... ...Literally not so fun, kinda fun? You bet, tasted disgusting, watching her choke to death was...Lets just say I have shared enough joy with you for one day.

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what's the difference between a dead baby and a lamborghini? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage!

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a jewish person sees a nickel on a sidewalk and continues walking.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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Osama Bin Laden dies.

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How do you tell a clown his fly is open? Say sir your fly is open. Then beat him with a pipe until you cant tell what used to be his face.

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roses are red violets are blue i have alziemers what are we talking about again

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What's the difference between Miley Cyrus and a dead baby? One is a popular singer and the other is a dead baby.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy i have alzheimers hey i just met you

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When life gives you lemons. You make beef stew. #andymilinokis

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2 sheeps are outside having a great time One sheep walks up to the other sheep and says: hello The other sheep says: hello Now what I want to know: what ally do you get your drugs from

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A black man walks into a bar. The barman says 'We don't serve your kind here'. The man leaves and goes to a nearby bar that doesn't have racist staff.

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The town was so small. The ferris wheel was green.

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What's better than winning a medal in the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

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Why did the duck turn black? an oil spill

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Why is Osama bimladin dead? Because he was a threat to American for many years, and someone finally found him and killed him.

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Your mother is so fat, that the doctor said, "Go on a diet or you will get a Cardiac Infarction."

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for chrismas? cancer

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What do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot

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have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower? No? well it must have been hiding pretty well.

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I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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why did the mans hair start to get shorter the barber was shaving it!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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