Why was the school girl called a dork. Because a whale penis is called a dork, and she identically resembles a giant aquatic dick.

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what's difference between a pile of dead babies and a car? I don't have a car in my garage.

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Why did Doris want to father children? Because she wanted to have a fry-up with the leftover baby oil

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How did the little boy fall over? He was tripped up by his alcoholic father.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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why is stu taking so long to post a joke because he is autistic

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My phone rang. So I answered it.

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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what happens when 15 babies cross the street? well, some may be hit by cars. others will have to face the harsh life of reality.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It got shot. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Roses are red Violets are blue The more you know

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? HIV

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Yes, I'll have the cordon bleu, see voo play.

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Why did the black man buy fried chicken? Because it wasn't free.

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Two Jewish men walk into a butcher shop. They don't buy any pork because that is a fundamental dietary restriction placed upon by their religion.

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Why are all of the cars in the left lane? Because you are in Winona MN.

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A guy is in Weekends Millionaire. He says: I could use a lifeline. Quizmaster: Which one would you like? Guy: Anyone, I have AIDS

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Who invented the Iceberg Salad? The Titanic

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What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

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Whats worst then finding a repeated joke on anti joke? The holocaus.

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Guy walks into a bar and half his head is an orange. Barman: What can i get.. holy shit half your head is an orange!! How did that happen?? Guy: Magic Lamp, rubbed it, three wishes etc etc. Barman: What in the bejesus were your three wishes, half your head is an orange. Guy: First Wish – I wished for every woman in the world to love me. Barman: Right, that is ok. What was your second wish? Guy: Second Wish – I wished that I was a billionaire. Barman: What in the hell was your third wish half your head is a frickin orange? Guy: It was a silly wish. I dot wanna say: Barman: Go on tell me, I’ll give you a drink. Guy: OK well for my third wish I wished that half my head was an orange.

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What's red and bad for your teeth A brick

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mom's a whore.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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