How do you wake a sleeping bear? Kick it.

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Yo mama so poor, she can't afford luxuries

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What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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What's the difference between Elisabeth Fritzl and Pope John Paul II? Pope John Paul II wasn't imprisoned and raped continuously over a 24 year period in a horrific act of cruelty by his father

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

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Whats worse than getting in a 30 MPH car accident? Getting in a 40 MPH car accident.

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What do people call the completely paralyzed man with no eyes? David, his name.

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whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

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What's worst than losing a million dollars? Losing a plane. Whats worst than losing a plane? losing 239 people, a plane and a million dollars

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Ask me if im a tree! Are you a tree? No

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What's worse than burning your bacon? Finding your daughter decapitated and raped in the basement.

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roses are red, violets are blue, my son is gay, f**k my life...

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Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Why was the women not in the kitchen? She was dead

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Q: When birds fly in a "V", why is one side always longer? A: There is one extra bird on that side

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John: Hey Bill, ORANGE you in the mood to go to a Phillies game? Bill: Yes! So let's make like a banana and raise our potassium levels drastically and leave right away to beat the rush hour traffic.

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What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice

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What did Jesus get for Christmas? Birthday presents.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme coffee table.

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I used to be an adventurer like you. Then i took an arrow to the knee.

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I HATE G-SPOT AND BTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the cat cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Did you know that Obama wasn't born in the United States*? *the contiguous United States

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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