Touche.try eating something, I eat low carb crap when I am too sleepy, and today I guess it works.

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Why is six scared of seven? Because seven is in his house with an axe.

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so a man goes to jurrasic park and sees two dinosaurs fighting. he shits himself.

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Knock Knock Whos there Cameron oh

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Knock Knock! Whose there? Adolf Hitler

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What do you call an asian man driving a plane? Well you can't drive planes

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Why didn't the boy finish his homework? He was in a coma.

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How do porcupines have sex? The male begins by urinating all over the female. He then enters her from behind and proceeds to thrust until the act is completed.

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Why couldn't the mexican buy a boat? Because he couldn't afford it

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Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks.

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Fenestrade De Riguerto sat aloft his might horse Bentereuse and called for his brigadiers. At home his wife was opening a package. 2 minutes later a sound could be heard reverberating across the countryside. It was the invasion fleet from Denarus V wiping out humanity

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Unflushed Shit...

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What happened to the dying kangaroo? He died What animal is not in the lion king? Kangaroo --why? Because he died...

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why was the boy laying on the ground? he got shot in the head

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my candy brings all the kids to the yard and i'm like- get in the van.

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What would have happend if martin Luther king was white? I don't know he wasn't so it's irrelevant

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A duck walks into a doctor's office, and says 'Quack!' The doctor is offended and resigns.

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Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No it's Supe- oh wait it is a plane

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A woman who lived alone with her parrot left her apartment to run to the store, forgetting that a plumber was scheduled to come and fix her sink. A few minutes later, the plumber arrived and knocked on the door. The parrot inside called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, "it's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waited for a bit and, seeing that nobody was coming to the door, knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, a little more loudly, "it's the plumber! I've come to fix the sink!" Again the plumber waited. After a few more minutes, he knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber yelled, as loudly as he could, "IT'S THE PLUMBER! I'VE COME TO FIX THE SINK!" Still, nobody came to the door. The plumber banged the door repeatedly, The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screamed "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIIINK!!!" and then, consumed with rage, clutched his chest and fell over dead from a stress-induced heart attack. A few minutes later, the woman returned home and, while opening her door, noticed the plumber lying dead in her hallway. She looked at her parrot and asked, "Who is it?" The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?"

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So when I came home from work the other day, I saw tha my dog was foaming at the moth, so I took him to the vet It turns out that my dog didn't have a thing for marshmallows but had rabies instead and was promptly put down.

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Hi

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it's funny because it's funny

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Ask me if i'm a tree... "Are you a tree?".... No

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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