Confucius says... He with whom neither slander that gradually soaks into the mind, nor statements that startle like a wound in the flesh, are successful may be called intelligent indeed.

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How do you kill a fly? Shoot it

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What smells like peanut butter but looks like a penis? A penis, I lied about the peanut butter.

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theres no 'I' in 'team' but theres an 'I' in 'hitler'

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? I don't know, I've never tried to.

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Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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Q: What's funny about prostitution? A: Nothing. It's a widely misunderstood profession.

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What did the man want a car for his birthday? 7.

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Yo momma so ugly, she couldn't fulfill her dream of being a model.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his donkey? "Oh no, my donkey is my livelihood and the only means I have of supporting my family. Now, we shall surely starve."

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Why couldn't Johnny drive? Because he had no arms or legs. Why didn't he have any arms or legs? Because Johnny was a potato.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Waking up with a snapping turtle up your butt.

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A black guy, a Mexican, an Arab and a white guy walk into a room and embrace cultural diversity.

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What's worse than a terrible joke? A worse joke.

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What is big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater.

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A Palestinian and an Israeli both board a plane at the same time. They exchange awkward glances and take seats at different ends of the plane.

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree?Cause it was stapled to the cat.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He had nobody to go with :)

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What did Harry Potter say when he lost his wand? Where's my wand?

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? He was hit by a bus!

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What do Lincoln, JFK, and Barack Obama all have in common? They were all president of the United States of America and are relatively good people.

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nolan is gay

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was convicted of murder and rape

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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