How do you kill a baby? You don't muder is a sin and against the law

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Where do cows go on the weekends? The slaughterhouse.

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Once upon a time, in a magical kingdom, there were too many similar jokes on anti-joke.com. One man thought he could be funny by writing a joke that referenced this, and be even funnier by referencing what he was referencing. Then he referenced that, then that, and so on until the layers of meta caused his brain to explode. Some of it landed in your mother's vagina.

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My daughter's so smart, that instead of texting K, she writes Potassium.

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Why did the middle-eastern man fly his plane into the Empire State Building? Because he was a bad pilot with an interest in American architecture.

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Why did Larry the Cable Guy say "Git R Dun"? Because he thought it was funny, and so did a bunch of other people for some reason.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Elephants cant jump Neither can amputees

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Why does beonce say to the left, to the left. she doesnt she sings it.

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

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Kid 1: Mama why is my name Daisy? Mama: Because when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head! Kid 2: Mama why is my name Rose? Mama: Becuase it was a nice name.

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How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

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A Jew! Bless you.

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Making jokes about 9/11 is just plane wrong.

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I was (really) asked one day by a guy if I wanted to star in a porn movie... Before I could even think about it he asked my 14 year old sister "Do you want to join in too?" And that kids, is why I am stuck in jail for pushing up a boot up a guys ass... Well replace boot with dick, and guys ass with my 14 year old sister and yeah... Naw... seriously she has hueg boobs though... at the age of 14, damn those melons have not even gone a bit greenish yellow and they are still growing... ...Hey Cassandra, its NeroMetal, good thing I am not your brother and that you are 19 right? NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THAT NEROISM DUDE THAT CHATS HERE, I play videogames, and write books, and sign books... ...Then some guy sees my real name is Nero and goes that guy on horsehead network? Who? HE SUCKS! SUCKS ASS!

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why is 6 afraid of 7 7 is a registered sex offender

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You Wanna hear an anti joke? Womens rights

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Justin Beiber

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Have you heard the joke about the Swedish surgeon who found a frog in his patient's stomach? Yes, you've told me it before.

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Malachai.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here!" The other one says "We're both going to die in here and nobody will hear us scream."

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What is the best way to put out a fire? Stop, drop and have an 0rgy.

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There once was a man from peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe he awoke with a fright in the middle of the night to find he had eaten the gel packets that came with them and died of cancer.

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Why did the Spice Girls stop performing? They mutually agreed to stop performing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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