Q: Why is the Universe so big? A: Because it is the same size as my penis.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He orders a lemonade and leaves promptly

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what happened to the kid who didn't get what he wanted for his birthday? He committed suicide

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How do you spell eight? 8

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Why did the Muslim get on the plane in New York? To go visit his dying aunt in Memphis.

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

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Your mom walked into a bar and got kicked out cause there's no dogs allowed.

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What did jell say to the carriage driver from Uzbekistan that was underpaid and had no banter? Oh My God ROFLMAOOTG (the last three are "on the ground") "I will beat you with a small child that I will soon feed to the T-Rex's" should be on the list.

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your mothers so silly she saw a rock and sat on a chair.......?

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because women have the same rights as men thanks to the 19th amendment and sexism needs to die.

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Knock knock. Come in.

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I once met a man named Steve. I said, "Hello."

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How dis the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

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What is black and red? Something that is black and red.

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How do you kill somebody instantly? Make them smell Smelly mcD's socks.

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Q:Why did the man throw his clock out the window A:Because he didn't like his clock

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Why did the black man die of leukemia? Overexposure to radioactive materials due to his career as a nuclear engineer.

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your mammas so fat tha-- my mother is dead. oh... sorry.

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I always wanted to know what the future will hold in the decades to come... Until I realized the idiotness of my own thought for it is nigh impossible for us humans to see the future... Except... That the ancient Mayan civilization prophesized the end of the universe, which I did take into consideration as I slowly nibbled my way through the waffle cone till I had realized that I had reached the paper surrounding the cone and immediately spat it out for it leaves a fowl taste In my mouth, then continued eating my ice cream as I pondered the future and the anti-climatic ending of this anti-joke.

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what did the boy with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for easter AIDS

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kk

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a giraffe walks into a bakery, "can I have 101 brown loafs please?" the baker answers: "hmm I've got only 100 loafs is that ok too?" the giraffe says: "why the hell would I need a 100 loafs?!"

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What's the difference a ham and bugs bunny? -When I see a ham on the dinner table, I eat it. When I see bugs bunny on the dinner table and asks me "what's up, doc?" I stay away from sugar for a while and get tested for heroin

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it most likely saw a shiny object and wanted to play with it. Luckily there was no cars passing at the time but the parents should be more careful to keep thier child in sight and away from peril. That and the baby found a small piece of glass that could be harmful to it....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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