How do you know if there's an elephant in your fridge? The fridge is broken and the elephant has mauled your dog

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What do a grape and an elephant have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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Why did Martin have to retake his exams? Because Martin is a right royal Dumbass.

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Rick Ross is so fat, that he is fatter than someone who isn't as fat as he is.

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Why was lady crying? Because her ten yer old son died of cancer..

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Getting an STD. What's worse than mixing up the order of the joke and the punchline?

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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Why did the boy die of Cancer? Because I took some radioactive chemicals and hen I feel like it I beat him with it.

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What do you call a blonde with a diploma? Dum,because blondes are still dum

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What happens when a truck full of mexicans and a truck full of aisians collide? They all die.

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What looks like half an Apple? The other half.

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I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

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Knock knock Who's there Orange and Banana Orange and Banana who? ... The man opened the door and saw a bowl of oranges and bananas.

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What is blue and not heavy? Light blue!

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What's orange and not an orange? An orange.

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When Chuck Norris moved into a new house he decide to renovate because he didn't like the staircase.

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Doctor, doctor! I think I'm a pair of curtains... Well don't worry, you've come to the right place. We'll get you the help you need.

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What is the similarity between John W. Booth and Pee Wee Herman? They both got arrested for shooting someone in the back of the head in the theater.

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What do you call a Mexican who gets shot on a golf course? A tragic incident.

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Q: Why does my arm itch? A: I got bit on the arm by a mosquito

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A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

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What did the teapot say to the teacup? Nothing. Teapots and teacups are inanimate objects, therefore, cannot speak.

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A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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