roses are green violets are green i was drunk last night

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wanna hear a joke? no.

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

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Why do people where saggy pants that don't fit? They can't afford too buy new

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noah is a scrub jungle

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A dog walked into a bar. He was a trained seeing-eye dog leading a man who had been blind since a tragic industrial accident a year before.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Everything's brown Who shit on my flowers

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Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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What is the opposite of Obama? Mitt Romney because he his white and a republican so all is good with him.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I eat mop I eat mop who? That's strange, most American's don't eat poo I'm Asian

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im trying to thing of a good joke...oh wait i got one but only one... ok ready?...oh wait...i forgot it again

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A: Knock Knock B: 7

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

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What did Steven Hawkings say as he fell down the stairs? .................

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Q- what did the magician say after the sawed the woman in half ? A- call an ambulance !

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A black man walks into a store and buys a gun based upon the increasing crime rate in his area. He stops for lunch and heads home.

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Did you know, I have a black man in my family tree? He works for a lawn service.

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Why couldn't the fan turn on? Because it was broken.

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Q: Why did Tom bought a new sweeper? A : because his grandma fired their maid

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A man walks into a bard with a politician, an Asian man, and a sailor. They all get drinks and have a good time.

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Roses are red violets are red I think I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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What did bob say when he was told his beloved parents were dying? "oh"

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How do you kill Osama Bin Laden? Get The Navy Seals To Infiltrate his compound.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Schizophrenia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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