What hurts more than a bullet? A bullet penetrating your skin, muscle and embedding itself in your body

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What's the difference between difference and between? One is difference the other is between.

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Chuck Norris was walking down the street when he was confronted by an armed, very desperate street robber. Chuck unfortunately made the decision to defend himself, and was shot in the gut before he could complete a roundhouse kick. The robber then took his wallet and ran off, undoubtedly to buy drugs.

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What does the Christian celebrate on Christmas? Christmas

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen

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What did the man say when he saw his t.v. floating in the middle of the night? I must be seeing things. By logic, televisions don't float. My weary eyes must be playing tricks on me and I should probably go back to sleep.

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Whats the difference between Justin bieber and a dick... The dick

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Q: What's worse than death? A: Nothing.

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Whats Green and has wheels? Grass, I was kidding about the wheels.

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Bill goes and buys 45 watermelons, what does he have? 45 watermelons.

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Why did the black guy drink the kool aid? Because there was a glass of kool aid next to him and he was thirsty.

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Why did the white bartender kick out a black man and his Mexican friend out of the bar? It was closing time

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Fred and DooDah go to their favorite lake to fish. After getting out on the water, DooDah hooks a huge fish, which pulls him overboard, and he drowns. Fred is brokenhearted and goes to tell DooDah's wife the news. She opens the door and hears Fred sing: "Guess who drowned in the lake today? DooDah! DooDah!"

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I took a dump in a well don't ask me i'll never tell i look to u as it fell and now its in the well Hey,i just took a dump and it smells like crazy so here's my number so call the plumber Call the plumber

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Whats faster than a black guy with a tv? His brother who is a dentist and drives a fast sports car.

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Do you know what's annoying? Steve

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Where did Sally go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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It was a warm summer day when justin beiber got hit by the bus everyone was cheering

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Yo momma is so poor when she went to the bank the teller was like " you have no money."

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Why was Little Billy sad? Because he got shot.

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why was the frog sad..... because it had a science lesson with the year 10s about the insides of animals

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What did the screwdriver do when it was insulted? It got up and walked away.

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A man name Bill works 12 hours a day at a warehouse, almost everyday a week. It is a hard job but Bill does it to support his beautiful wife of many years. Bill thinks the long hard days are worth every moment he gets to spend with her. One night, after a hard day, he comes home to find another man in bed with his wife. Bill begins to sob and yell "I work 12 hours a day at a warehouse....." His wife yells back. "We already read this part, get to the punchline".

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless this event results in you being a vegetable.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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