There was a cat and a copy cat. the regular cat jumped off a cliff. How many cats are left? 2 Cats have 9 lives!!!

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knock knock who's there? to to who? to whom*

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What did the paper say to the pen? Nothing, they are inanimate objects!

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A horse walks into a bar, and is then put down because of the injuries it sustained from the impact.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair because he had cancer

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Did you hear about the guy who had his head chopped off? He's dead.

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Why was the hamster not on his wheel? Because he had a stroke.

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wormly wormly sat on the worm theworm said wormly and went to warmly

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What is the difference between a girl and a woman? Age

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Why did the chicken cross the road? the wnba

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What's the difference between dead babies and the holocaust? A lot.

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How do you make a sandwich out of clay? Shape it like a sandwich

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You're always working, why don't you spend some time with your daughter? be a good father. But i already am. We're sleeping together while you work every night.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one says "Boy, it sure is hot in here." The second one says "Holly shit! A talking muffin!" As muffins generally don't talk.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I don't fucking know.

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A Refrigerator

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What happens when a black person brakes his neck? He gets a neck brace just like anyone else.

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why is there art classes so people can make beautiful pieces of art :)

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knock knock who's there the police you're under arrest for the kidnapping, and murder of 12 girls you have the right to remain silent anything you say or do can and will be used against you in the court of law

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Why did the kid eat so much ice cream? Because he wanted to eat ice cream.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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What did mike Tyson say to the midget? ''Hello'' He's actually a relatively nice man.

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Chuck Norris and 2 other cowboys were out in the old west. After a long day of travel in the desert, the three of them set up camp for the night. Having sat around their fire silently for some time, the first of the cowboys decided to speak up. "You know," he said, "I believe I am the manliest man here! Why, this one time I was riding all alone through the desert on my manly horse when I stumbled upon a town that had no name. Upon entering the town, I realized that the townspeople were in a panic. Everyone was fleeing for their lives and screaming. So I grabbed the nearest woman to me around the neck and demanded of her, 'What the hell is going on around here?!!!' The woman, terrified, only managed to stammer and point. Low and behold, there was a wild bull skewering people through the heart. So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and grabbed the bull by the horns and looked him straight in the eyes, broke his neck, crushed his testicles, rammed my fist into his chest, pulled out his heart and ate it! That is how much of a man I am!" There was silence quite for a while. Soon the other cowboy cleared his voice and said: "You, know, that's pretty good, but I am more of a man than that! Why, this one time, me and a few of my manly buddies were off on a horse trip. I was bringing up the rear of the line when all of a sudden I heard a commotion at the front of the line. Kicking my fine horse with my spurs, I raced ahead to see what was the matter. Low and behold, there was a twenty-foot rattler that had consumed my friend whole! So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and ran over to the snake, grabbed him around the neck, crushed his testicles, bit off his head, sucked the venom from its cold, lifeless body and then spit it upon the dry ground like acid! That is how much of a man I am!" After this, there was another silence. The two cowboys looked one another over, each recognizing the other to be a fine specimen of what it is to be a man. They then both patiently waited to hear Chuck Norris' response. But there was only silence. Off in the distance an owl hooted. A coyote howled. Still, silence. Chuck Norris didn't say a word; he merely continued to sit calmly and stir the coals of the fire with his penis.

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How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb? None. They use candles

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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