Bill gates walked into a store and farted. It stunk up the entire place and the employees were mad. But it was their fault for not having windows.

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Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes. They're completely harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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Why did Captain Obvious crossed the road? Because that's the name of the chicken

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What is cowboy say

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What is the difference between a urologist and a can of chili? One is hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What did Sam Houston Say to Jim Bowie when he say all the Mexicans coming Towards the Alamo? That's a lot of Mexicans.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones... and my pistol will kill you.

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky, It hit one of the random green pipes.

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there once was a man from Nantucket. I want to ride in a helicopter.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other practices law for a living.

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Why did the woman not wear a bra? Because she had breast cancer and got a double mastectomy.

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Three blind mice go into a pub, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

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want more?

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why did the bear fall out of the tree? the bear got shot

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hello i hav a growing interes in math and arithmetic especially when it involves pi if u are still reading this you either didnt realize that this was a joke or just didnt care but most likely it means that the first line interested or bored u and u wanted to find out wut the rest was u like????

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with an alligator? Go take some acid and find out for yourself

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You`re honor, he fell off the staircase, I demand that staircase ends up in jail! Case closed.

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A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

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What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gang rape.

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Q: what do you call an icy road? A: dangerous

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A dog walks into a bar and succumbs to heartworm.

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Whites black white and red all over? The nazi flag.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops