yo mama is so fat that when she stepped on the scale she exclaimed "wow, i'm overweight" she then proceeded to eat a cupcake to mask her pain.

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How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

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Paul Walker: Breaks, stop Breaks: No

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what is the opposite of underpants? overpants

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good. The food I placed in the refrigerator a few hours ago will now be cold.

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with a road? To get to the other side.

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What do you get when a person and a cat try to have a child of some sort? Nothing because there chromosomes don't match, and there for physically impossible.

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Why were accents created? So when people go to Texas they come back sounding like a D-Bag.

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Why does Snoop Dogg have an umberella? For shielding himself from the rain.

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says, I'm sorry but you have about four to six months to live. The man goes home and checks his million dollar life insurance policy.It expires in three months.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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Why did the plane crash into a mountain? Because a Banana was flying it, and Bananas can't fly planes.

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Q:Why are babies and spaghetti alike? A:They both stick to the wall when cooked.

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Terrorist walked into the bar, all dead, except for a small child. The police came and asked the boy: "Boy, how I survived the blast?" The boy answered: "I'm not a boy, I am broccoli"

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Why did the mom go to jail? She committed infanticide. lol.

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Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman.

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What was the woman doing in the kitchen? Investigating a murder..

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A bartender walks into a bar. He serves alcohol for a living.

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What's the differnce of victims of Brady and Hindley and a pile of dead babies? Some were born dead and others were raped then killed. Kelvin Yang.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a T-Rex? There are certainly innumerable differences, but, in general, humans are vertebrates belonging to the Mammalia class, chiefly a member of the species Homo sapiens; dinosaurs are chiefly terrestrial, herbivorous or carnivorous reptiles from the extinct orders Saurischia and Ornithischia.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart but your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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What's green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of tree? A Pool Table

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Hey, guess what? What? Dammit!

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Why did the jews get off the bus? Because i threw a fridge at it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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