Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because it lacked the requisite musculature to facilitate locomotion

What's the difference between a pizza and a black man A pizza can feed a family of four

Why did the fish look like a human? Because it was a person, drowning.

Yo mamma's so short that she is 12 inches below the average height of a woman at her age.

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

What happen's when you give an alcoholic whiskey? He's an alcoholic, so he drinks it.

Q: Why is 8 afraid of 9? A:Because 9 killed 8's family

Oh no! I forgot the milk!

Okay so two penquins are sitting in a bathtub when one asks the other "Hey pass the soap!". The other one jokingly replies "what do I look like a typewriter?"

water, hydrated silica, glycerin, sorbitol, PVM/MA copolymer, sodium lauryl sulfate, flavor, cellulose gum, sodium hydroxide, propylene glycol, carrageenan, sodium saccharin, titanium dioxide all adds up to colgate. SO AS A MATTER OF FACT, CHEESE PLUS PIE IS CHICKEN. CONSIDERING THE FACT THAT I LIKE SAYING CHEESE, JACK AND JILL WENT UP THE HILL BECAUSE THEY WERE BAGELS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love bacon therefor I love people who eat bacon execpt people who eat my bacon then I hate people who eat bacon

Why did the dog lick his balls? Because he can.

What's Mackaulay Culkin's favorite salad dressing? Neverland Ranch.

Japan

Why was the boy sad? He had a Ford Taurus stapled to his face.

Knock knock Who's there? Your neighbor. I just ran over your cat.

What happened when the young child fell off of the swing? He broke open his head causing him to be sent to the hospital for 3 weeks.

what is the color of a burp burple

Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

THAT AWKWARD MOMENT... nuff said

How did the marines cross the minefield safely at night? Under a full moon

What has four legs and starts with the letter D? A cow.

Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

You best friend has a bladder disease. You ask him how he got it. He says " I was watching the superbowl and had to go, but I didn't want to miss the commercials. So it was either watching the game and getting a bladder disease that would end up killing me or going to the bathroom . Now you know where i went wrong."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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