Why did the monkey eat the pineapple? IDK, ask Sam D

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Why a man without hands and without legs want to stay in a barrel? He actually doesn't, but is unable to get out of it.

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Knock Knock Come in! :)

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agp

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Why did Justin Beiber cross the road? He didn't because he is still in the closet!

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Whats Red and smells like Blue Paint? Red Paint.

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Why is five afraid of six? Because six seven eight. (Note: The language of numbers is Subject-Object-Verb, rather than Subject-Verb-Object like English.)

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Roses are Red Toilets are Blue Get out of Me way I Need to POO!

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Knock knock Whos there your son your son who holy shit dad just let me in

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Roses are grey, Violets are black, I have Alzheimer's, Barthtub.

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Q-What's the good thing about dating a girl volleyball player? A- She's a Girl

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Why are all the other numbers scared of 7? Beacuse 7 stabbed his mother with a steak knife.

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A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

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Asians

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Why was the man with one leg good at balancing on one foot? He used crutches.

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Why did little nancy call the police? Because her dad beats her toaster up.

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ROB SNIEDER ISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS A CAARRRRROT! rated pg-13

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why did the ginger cross the road to go to hell

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Yo mama so fat when she dresses in red she looks like clifford the big red dog!

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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A Jew, Muslim and Mexican all die of cancer

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

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When the world ends what would be the death toll It would be unknown since every one would be around to calculate it

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Your momma's so stupid that she might not have graduated from high school, ceasing her ability to have an educated job. Now, she makes minimum wage and can barely feed her son.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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