All the planets are named after gods Ours is named after dirt....

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A squirrel is about to steal the eggs of a sparrow when the sparrow suddenly says, "Stop! I will do anything if you would spare my eggs!" The squirrel has no capacity to reason and so steals the eggs anyway. The sparrow is devastated.

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How do you make a gorilla stop chasing you? You shoot him.

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why should you not go to sleep in public? Because that's how you get raped.

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once upon a time there was a boy

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What's the difference between an Asian bookkeeper and a Jewish dog? This isn't a joke, it's an assignment for school, I need to write a 3 page paper on this. Any ideas?

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two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

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How do dogs mark their territory? With legal documents.

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Hey guess what? What? I have good news and bad news. The bad news is you're mom died. I lied about the good news.

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What's black and white and red all over? A car in which some young hoodlum appears to have splashed a fair amount of red paint over the owner's otherwise charming checker pattern.

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How did Helen Keller meet her husband? On a blind date.

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A Muslim gets off his plane from Saudi Arabia to New York and walks to customs where a TSA agent asks him "what is you business in America?" The Muslim responds "I am here for a vacation". He walks on, and returns home 10 days later.

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Why grannies do not buy a menstrual pads? Cause they will never have their period anymore.

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Why did the Indian homosexual shoot his dog? Because it was old

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a man walks into a bar and has a drink james

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't like anyone who is not a straight, white male.

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Jumping out of an airplane without a parachute is a once in a lifetime expeirence.

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What did one umbrella say to the other umbrella? Nothing, umbrellas cannot instigate a conversation, because they cannot talk.

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Hey, you wanna hear a joke? The holocaust.

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what did one lady say to another lady we are both ladies

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How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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Q:How many cavemans does it take to screw in a lightbulb A: None there was no electricity back then

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What is the difference between a duck? one of its legs is both the same.

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Knock knock. Who's there? To get the other side!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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