What do you call a dog that's half poodle, half bulldog? A dog.

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At the time my grandfather came round to visit, what was happening in Australia? A giant spider was giving birth.

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How many immature teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Your Mum.

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Meh, I dont want it anymore! You can have it.

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Do you know what really hurts my feelings? Nerve damage.

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roses are gray violets are gray everything's gray I'm a #$%ing dog

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Dad, if I say shit or somethin... Dad: FALCOWN PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANCH!

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There's two muffins in an oven, the first muffin says "Woah, it's really hot in here!". The second muffin says "Oh my God! A talking muffin!"

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Why was the baby's face red? Because it was bloody.

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Yo mamas so ugly that when she went to an ugly contest the host said "sorry no Professionals"

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What happened? I have absolutely no idea.

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A man walked into a pub, and enjoys of a couple off pints. Some time later he loudly asks the gentleman next to him: Do you know about this thing called Fightclub?... The bartender had to call an ambulance, you don't talk about fightclub

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Two white people walk into a bar what do they say? "hi"

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why did the man leave the restaurant? because he was done with his meal

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Dick in your vagina fuck cock cunt shit

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What did the blonde order in the restaurant? A cup of coffee.

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What happens if Pinoccio says my nose is about to grow?

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yo mama so stupid i'm fairly certain she has a learning disability.

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What do you call a black man speeding away in a Ferrari. A wealthy man who is late for work.

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Why did Jill fall off the swings? -Because she had no arms. Knock Knock? --Who's there? Not Jill. What did Jill get for Christmas? -What? I don't know. She couldn't open it.

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Why did the fridge fall off its bike? Because someone threw a little girl at it.

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Why did the monkey eat the pineapple? IDK, ask Sam D

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Why a man without hands and without legs want to stay in a barrel? He actually doesn't, but is unable to get out of it.

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Knock Knock Come in! :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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