Did you hear about the peanut that was assaulted? He filed a police report weeks ago and is upset by the sluggish nature of the justice system.

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There were three elephants in a bathtub. One said, "Pass me the soap." The other one said, "What do you think I am? A Radio???"

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This is a stupid joke. Get it to the top of the list and Kobe Bryant will pass to you.

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Black people. They are so kind.

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What do you call someone too young to drink? A minor

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whats worse than a pile of dead babies?...... A carrot

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A dog and a bird are sitting in the front yard of a small suburban community. The bird turns to the dog and says nothing, because birds lack the ability to speak. The dog then reaches down and slowly consumes the bird before returning to his house.

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What did the kid with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for his birthday? A: Polio.

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What did the pear say to the apple? Fred, you delusions are getting worse and i'm getting a divorce.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got into the car? "Robin, get in the car."

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whats faster than the speed of light? a jew with a coupon

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What's the difference between anti jokes and Charlie Sheen? Nothing. Their both stupid

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chuck norris does not know how to use a plunger.

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A blind man jumped out of the way as a car ran through the red light at a one way street.

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What do you call someone who's father is black (born in Kenya), mother is white (born in Canada), and was himself born in Australia? Someone with tri-citizenship

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A blonde heard that 90% of all crimes occur within a one-mile radius of the home, so she had a security alarm installed.

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A White, a Black, and a Hispanic man walk into a bar. They sit down and have a nice conversation, tip their bartender and then leave.

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What did Goldilocks say to the three bears? She asked them how bears make porridge without opposable thumbs.

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What's brown, smelly, and will never have a job? Poop.

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Why did the boy dig a hole in the football field? He was blind and his parents were being quite irresponsible....However someone should probably fill in that hole, as that could be a hazard during a football game.

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What's faster than a black man running with a VCR? His son with the receipt of purchase as they realize VCR's are clearly outdated and must be returned right away.

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Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

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why did the man fall over he was a loaf of bread

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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