Micael Jackson enters a bar. Everyone screams, and then someone runs over and pulls the cheap mask off the impersonator's face. Michael Jackson IS DEAD, get over it

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What do you say to a very ambitious dyslexic child? You're ambition is inspiring and I encourage you to follow your dreams. Some of the worlds greatest people, including Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, and Winston Churchill were dyslexic. Your drive is much bigger than your disorder.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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How do you keep a puppy warm? You throw it in the fire...

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why did the girl die. because she was bullied and abused everyday by her family and friends. she was homeless and was forced to drop a bomb on her own forest. there fore she stabbed herself.

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Women are only good for two things... Being raped and being raped in the ass.

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Twenty-Four

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

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How do you get 50 Babies into a phone booth? A blender How do you get them out? Doritos

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viki has 10 penises around her she eats 8 of them what does viki have? viki has AIDS

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What's the difference between a horse and a gorilla? Their penis size. Horses have relatively large penises, while gorillas are known to have the smallest penises proportional to their body size.

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What's brown, sticky, green, yellow, and orange that rides a unicycle? I have no clue, that's why I asked.

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Why did the milkman wear a white belt? To keep his pants up.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind, deaf, and dead.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Why did Hunter cross the road? No one cares, unless he gets hit.

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Whats funny and has 2 wheels The holocaust, I lied about the wheels, and the funny

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What's purple, blue, red, orange, yellow and green. A rainbow .

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- Knock Knock. - Who's there? - You're coming with me.

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Which way do 4 gay guys walk South then past the milkbar then around the corner

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What do you call a man with a shovel through his head? Unless he was carrying ID when he died; John Doe.

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What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

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Why was Hellen Keller afraid to answer the phone? This situation is impossible because Hellen suffered from scarlet fever, therefore she could not see or hear the phone.

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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