I was jacking off I don't use my hand tho, I just use my gf's vagiina

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A man walks into a bar. Realizing he forgot his ID, he leaves.

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Why did the lights turn off? Because I turned them off.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Door! He then broke down into tears as the nightmares from his schizophrenia had lead to a severely crippled mental state.

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What did the young boy get for christmas? Parental divorce

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What do two zebras look like next to each other? Two zebras

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Your mom is soo fat that when God said "let there be light" he had to ask her to move

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How did the car get a dent? Terrorists bombed the house next to it

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there is a man swimming in the ocean with a tree in the ground eating him up so , the cantelope asks the microwave where is the store the microwave says nothing because it is an inanimate object and cannot speak even though the cantelope can which is unfortunate

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What happens when you throw a cricket bat at a blonde? She is hurt and reports you to the police for anti-social behaviour.

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Knock Know! Come in!

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names! *ba dum chzz*

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A polish, english and african man each were standing on a skyscraper. The african man jumped and died. The polish and enlgish men called 999.

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Once, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end

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Why did the racist guy die? Because the black guy stabbed him with a fork.

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What are three things an average teenager cannot live without? Oxygen, Food, and Water. Duh.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Colorblindness isn't funny And neither are you

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What did the Polish man say to his doctor? "Witam, doktorze. By?em kaszel z ostatnich kilku tygodni i jest wysypka na moim lewym ramieniu. Czy jest co? co mo?na zrobi?, aby mi pomóc?" I don't know what it means, either.

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer, the bartender quickly takes out a shot gun and shoots the horse because he is secretly dealing horse meat to tescos

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Add William Wright On Facebook Answer- www.facebook.com/public/William-Wright

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Why did the man buy a large butcher knife and a shot gun at 3am while his family was asleep at home? because he suffered from insomnia and figured running some errands would give him something to do. his wife had also been telling him that their current knife was getting old and rather dull and since one of his favorite hobbies was duck hunting he decided it wouldn't hurt to buy a new gun considering it was on sale for a reasonable price

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What's black, white and red and can't turn round in corridors? A nun with a spear through her head

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Colon Right Parentheses For all of the confused people out there that's :)

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What is worse than a sharknado? A bullcano.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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